Online Magazine For Black Men

Why Do Women Go After Bad Boys?

This is a classic question from a man who can only wonder.

Question from Eric:

I'm a 32 year old man and I've been asking myself this question since I was 21.

Why do women go after thugs, players, and bad boys?

Trying to be a good guy gets you nowhere in the dating world!

-- Confused Eric

The Brothas Response:

Dear Eric,

We could write a novel on this subject -- but we won't.

There may be a number of social and personal reasons why women choose to be with bad boys. Some women simply don't know what they're looking for and choose the wrong man. Other women are duped by smooth talking chameleons who eventually show their true colors...(usually after the woman has wasted her time and body with him). But many women consciously seek out bad boys for their own self-gratification. It really depends on the woman and how adventurous (or mischievous) she wants to be.

Throughout your dating life, you might observe sistas yielding to players or "thuggish" bad boys because they subconsciously wish to release their own inner wild child. They may wish to step outside the "good girl" role, but find it difficult to do since society tends to hold women to certain standards. Women who wish to release that wildness often find it easier to do when they're with a man who also plays the game.

Plus, some women feel that bad boys will never be boring and will always keep them excited and entertained. This perception also creates a sense of security as women frequently label bad boys as popular, connected, and persuasive men.

But don't worry -- a majority of sistas who date wild guys eventually discover little joy in long-term relationships with them.

After a while, those wild sistas discover maturity and eventually go on the prowl for men like you.


The Brothas

Sex & Sexual HealthRelationships
About Q & Answers - Mybrotha.COM Relationship Editor

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