Seattle, WA - "...And there, where they were living, I sat among them for seven days – overwhelmed." (Ezekiel 3:15) Just recently it was suggested to me that in order for me to properly understand the young Black man of today, I needed to at least be versed in, if not appreciative of the history of Hip Hop. The young man in question was a very articulate and respectful individual, so even though I had zero interest in the “art form” he wished to discuss, I listened attentively and politely to what he had to say. Outwardly anyway.

As I stood there, I have to admit to having made a mental grimace. You know, the type of expression reminiscent of the disgust and horror found on the face of a traveler, who has just picked up the retched stench of a dead skunk, that had been left to ferment in the hot sun (along the side of a country road in Texas…). You see where I’m going with this, right?

Anyway, something in my demeanor--- an inadvertent sigh or the shifting of my weight from side to side must have caught his attention, because he just simply stopped and stared at me. Wow, Young Mr. Good Manners had completely picked up on my inner condescension and disdain, and by the look in his eyes I knew that not only was he disappointed in me (which hurt more than anything), but that he was about to give me a piece of his mind, as well.

Well, even grown folks have to eat crow sometimes. In my shame and embarrassment I knew that there was really only one thing left for me to do, and that was for me to square my shoulders and take it like a "grown" woman was supposed to.

Bless his heart! In a way that said, I'm going to lovingly "bind" your arrogance and ignorance, he softly began to speak to me, and tell me about who he was and how ”elements” of his identity were shaped by the Hip Hop culture. He said, "let me tell you who I am and not who you want me to be, so that I can trust you to represent and stand in the gap for me." Well…from the mouths of babes.

There is definitely something to be said for "Sitting where they sit" (Ezekiel 3:15). Distinguished author and pastor Judson Edwards wrote, “Before (Ezekiel) ever uttered a word of condemnation or advice…, Ezekiel went and sat where they sat, was astonished at what he saw and heard, and became one of them…He walked a mile in there shoes.” Fore truly, I learned more from Young Mr. Good Manners that day, than about music. I learned about generational empathy, patience, and acceptance; they really are expressions of love that extend both ways.

I thanked him for his many gifts, and especially for providing them in a way that I could wholeheartedly receive. In all honesty, I still don’t like the music but I sure love the people who are listening to it. We live in different times with different realities, and fortunately for all of us it only takes a slight shift to get on the same page. I’ve recommitted myself to listening, learning and loving even more. Join me, won’t you?

To learn more about Rising Oak Foundation’s incredible mission and to help make a difference, please visit us online at www.risingoak.org.

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About Jeanette Davis-Loeb

JEANETTE M. DAVIS-LOEB is the Founder & CEO of the Rising Oak Foundation, a national nonprofit 501(c)(3) corporation committed to directly affecting the intellectual, psychological and spiritual development of boys of African descent. She is also the former V.P. and C.O.O. of Dynamic Industries L.L.C., specializing in property development and asset management. Jeanette is a passionate speaker who travels the country reintroducing our communities to the unique blessing, potential and power of black boys. In addition to her work on behalf of boys of African descent, Ms. Davis-Loeb shares her business "know how" with individuals and organizations from coast to coast. She is the author of "What Are You Bringing to the Party?- A Model for Success," (Lulu.com, January 2009), and a contributor to "A Philanthropic Covenant With Black America," (Jossey-Bass, March 2009). Permission is granted to reprint and reproduce this commentary. For booking or more information contact Jeanette M. D avis-Loeb at (206) 909-9578 or visit Rising Oak Foundation online at www.risingoak.org.

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