Online Magazine For Black Men
Can A Relationship Survive Infidelity?

There are usually two schools of thought on whether a relationship can survive infidelity:

You're either going to stay, or you're going to leave.

Brilliant concept, right?

But the question of whether or not your relationship can survive an adulterous affair, or any type of infidelity, depends on the foundation on which the relationship was built. It also depends on the moral makeup of the two persons in the relationship.

"Affairs usually begin with an attraction to someone you know fairly well, someone you spend time with each week -- your friends or co-workers.", says Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr., Ph.D, a world-renowed psychologist.

When someone in a relationship cheats, there may be a number of reasons why the person chose to step outside of the relationship. Some of these reasons may include:

  • Guilt
  • Anger
  • Resentment
  • Blame
  • Jealousy
  • Lack of affection, or love
  • Disappointment
  • Lust

As a result of being cheated on, a man may experience a whirlwind of his own emotions including anger, mis-trust, resentment, and bitterness. Along with these emotions, we also have to consider a man's morality and how he deals with ethical dilemmas. If a man feels that he has been wronged and takes it as a personal attack, relationship repair is very difficult.

Similarly, if a man had sincere feelings for his mate, then whatever was keeping the relationship together prior to the infidelity, will likely suffer.

So to answer the question of whether a relationship can survive an affair, we must understand why the infidelity began in the first place.

It has long been noted that men cheat for sex, while women cheat for love. More specifically, men tend to be more visual creatures and seem to lust after other women who may be beautiful and sexually tempting.

Women, on the other hand, tend to cheat when there is love and affection lacking in the relationship.

For whatever reason, a man may find himself on the difficult end of an adulterous affair when he painfully watches his mates entertain another man. This is in no way advocating infidelity for those women who feel that they are being neglected by their men.

Can the relationship survive?

Yes and No.

Yes, it can survive if both persons are willing to effectively communicate about the issues, overcome the resentment, and repair the relationship. Most importanly, the person being cheated on must learn to forgive and overcome any bitterness that may be present.

However, a relationship will not survive an affair if there is ongoing mis-trust and bitterness. If you have been cheated on and feel that you can never forget or forgive your mate for her infidelity, you may be better off showing yourself to the door.

Each case is different, but surviving infidelity can be a very difficult task. Here are 3 tips for survival:

  • If at all possible, be sure to seek professional counseling for help in repairing your relationship
  • Effectively communicate with your mate about your feelings, desires, and whatever thoughts you have about improving your condition
  • Seek happiness in your relationship. This may sound silly, but avoid being the cause of your mate's discontent

About The Author - Mybrotha.COM Staff Writer

©Copyright 2002-2015 - Mybrotha.COM. This article was written and edited by a Mybrotha.COM staff writer. Articles may not be reproduced, rewritten, or retransmitted without the express written consent of Mybrotha.COM
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