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Sarina22
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Which Men To Support
I've dated my share of men in the past and been in a few good relationships. I have a few friends who are dating some really thuggish guys right now and it's hard to sit back and watch. But, you really have no choice but to allow your sistas to make their own decisions...(especially when it comes to dating!)

But it seems that too many women give time and energy to the wrong types of guys. I've seen these same girlfriends date "good" guys and treat them like trash.

I just wonder if I've ever done the same.

What about you?
6/5/2006 06:17 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
ecjr23
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Thank you sister for putting that out there. I am interested in what kind of response you get back from the other sisters.
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ECJR23

If I could have convinced more slaves that they were slaves, I could have freed thousands more. - Harriet Tubman
6/8/2006 12:38 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
rodrice
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Yeah I want to hear these too. Women always say the want a good man, but do they really?
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6/29/2006 11:33 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
VickanS
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I think the women are too afraid to answer these types of questions!
7/3/2006 05:52 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
hmurchison
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Hell I think many a man goes through a perion where he's attracted to the more unsavory women out there. I'd think that women also do the same. The key is to wake up on day and realize that conservative and a bit predicatble doesn't have to be a bad thing.

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7/3/2006 15:16 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
ecjr23
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What I do not understand is, how can a woman decide to be with a man that she knows is going to cheat on her, maybe beat her, be involved in illegal activities or what have you. They look down on a man that is trying to do something with his life.
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ECJR23

If I could have convinced more slaves that they were slaves, I could have freed thousands more. - Harriet Tubman
7/4/2006 02:51 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Sparkle
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I know we date the wrong types of guys if we dated the right ones more of us would probably be married. I never really dated the 'wrong' guys per se. My guys were more like the right guy at the wrong time. I've never been very interested in thugs most are to selfish or pretend to be ignorant or are ignorant or the very worse and more wide spread problem they are followers all set up to follow whatever is cool at the moment. All, these things bore me and you can't build anything from anyone who is like this. My problem with dating has always been ME. Not the men. Like most women I have this mental checklist of my ideal man. Like he has to black, African Amercian black with ancestors from the south because though Jamaican and other black carribean men are FINE they don't have the same culture as me and I want my children to have the same culture. Whatelse, oh definetly college educated. He has to like and want kids. He can't have kids of his own because as my parents oldest child I know how special being the Firstborn is and I want to give my husband his first so we can experience it together. He has to have his own place and car with a steady job and health insurance. He has to love to read and have a sense of humour. I want a christian man who care about god and his place in Gods kingdom.And it goes on and on and on Blah, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah ba blah. You see how limited this makes me and many black women do the same thing. Now is this really what I want I don't even know I may meet this man buts there is NO chemistry so what do you build on the man thats good on paper or good in life but awful on paper. Like I said personally I've had more problems with me than any man.
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Let it Flow...
7/4/2006 06:31 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
ecjr23
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Sparkle, there is nothing wrong with wanting a man with those qualities, just understand that no one is perfect. Not you or me. But if you accept a man that comes to you in a respectful manner, you just might see him make some changes in himself that might benefit your relationship with him.

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ECJR23

If I could have convinced more slaves that they were slaves, I could have freed thousands more. - Harriet Tubman
7/4/2006 22:41 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
charity2k4
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Yes i've dated nice guys and let them go as i didn't want a commited relationship at the time, my focus was on my career and sorting my life out. NO i didnt treat them like trash, I just told not to wait around.
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If you dont take all your opportunities someone else will
7/29/2006 09:46 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
ecjr23
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So the question is, why don't sisters support a man that is at least trying to do something positive in his life?
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ECJR23

If I could have convinced more slaves that they were slaves, I could have freed thousands more. - Harriet Tubman
7/29/2006 13:50 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
charity2k4
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i think women do support men but i think its sad that the assumption is they dont! I really think it depends on the connection you have with the person and whether that support works both ways..its all about give and take, it seems most people are just out for themselves and will take whatever you have to give, and give nothing back.
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If you dont take all your opportunities someone else will
7/30/2006 16:18 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
VickanS
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I've learned over the years that women are really picky when it comes to men. Most don't seem to be as picky about physical attributes as men are...('cause sistas will date an ugly man who is good to them... most brothas won't do that!)

What is so funny is, women usually treat the men who are good to them - wrong. And usually give those no-good brothas years and years of chances. Do you know how many sistas I know who say they spent years in a relationship with a no-good man, thinking he was going to change?

Huh?

Who changes in this world? Especially if a man tells you that all he wants is sex, or to be lazy, or doesn't have any dreams... why women spend so much time with them and then yell ... "Ain't no good men around".
8/1/2006 09:54 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
thedrknghtno1
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Women just want a man with direction and goals and realizing them...but the problem is that many young men are emulating figures that are not them...all black men cant be rappers, ballers, entertainers. so we should be looking for other things to be...and remember that black men are role models to future children...

Ladies (and men) a good question to ask any potential mate is where do you see yourself in five years. if they have a good plan, SCORE!!! if they give little answer then its not going to be long term...

Whats your plan to support men now?
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till all are one...
11/19/2007 16:34 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Forum Start > Culture & Lifestyle > The Ladies Room > Which Men To Support

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