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NC_28269
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Brian07...what's a normal sista by your definition? If you mean one that is attractive, educated, has good hygiene, cooks, clean and demonstrates self-respect??? I say she's out there! I consider myself to be one for those sistas and there are many others with those same qualities. I think you just have to be at the right place at the right time. Who knows where or when but I do believe that you have to be open to something different and maybe get to know someone that is a little different from your norm. Also, don't just wait until going to a party or club to be social. You can meet people anywhere. Don't discount the lady you pass everyday going to work or the one you see eating lunch in the restaurant or in the library reading a book or in the grocery store. If you see someone interested...let it be known. If it doesn't work then so what...you'll meet someone else! That's one thing that thugs have over other guys. They are not affraid to approach or start conversation which I find very interesting. It's not all the time that they are really that great or women find them more appealing because of their street smarts but I think they are much more of a go-getter (aggression) and show interest. I'm not saying that you have to act like 50 cent or Lil Wayne but there just has to be a reason that women flock to these men because they are not all making tons of street money!
Try something different...Maybe if you've always flocked to women with long hair...try someone with shorter hair or vice versa. Maybe if you've always seem to like women that are lighter complexion...try approaching someone with a darker complexion or vice versa. It's ok to step outside of your box. I just think we live our lives in a bubble so much and form so many concrete definitions of what's hot and what's not that we miss out on the "real" (normal) people around us. It's time for all of us to try something new!
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11/12/2007 09:56 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
thedrknghtno1
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First thing about finding a good woman or man...when are people going to realize a club is NOT the place. Clubs are social meat markets and you only see one image of the woman and man, not true examples of a complete person. In fact, if you dont attend the club for a year or longer and go back, the same people will be there doing the same thing. Doesnt say much about their potential as mates.

You have to get to know people in general. The ones you find good common ground with are the best beginnings.

Also their spirituality should be sound as well. You dont have to go to church every week to have it...it will be there always and show it everyday.

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11/12/2007 11:57 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
cleopatrasmile
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You say where are the "good women"? Are you a good man? Are you dressed decently, respectful and reflecting what you are looking for? People are generally attracted to what they want in a mate. Of course, most good women are volunteering at church, working on their careers or reading a good novel if not at the gym working out. Not spending much time in bars. Good luck on your search.
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12/24/2007 22:12 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
sophiarosy19
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Hello Peace07, I understood your problem, Love is everywhere and you have to search for it until time permits, don't give up your feeling, and now here Iam presenting you an outstanding dating site ever been before, Here you will have live chats good forum discussions and if you try definetly you will have a lovable partner already been waiting for you especially, here you can go www.meet2go.com
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Sophie
5/15/2008 03:57 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
sophiarosy19
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Hi all, Dating is any social activity performed as a pair or even a group with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as their partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse,Love represents a range of human emotions and experiences related to the senses of affection and sexual attraction.love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure to intense interpersonal attraction,really we can fight as much we can for that feeling,http://meet2go.com, this is an excellent dating site, here u can find live chats,excellent dating tips,straight and marvelous forum discussions,fun, and if u try there will a person already been waiting for you......iam sure about that

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Sophie
5/20/2008 04:43 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
MBRAN03
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DEPENDING ON WHAT YOU WANT LONGTERM OR SHORT TERM, LONG TERM YOU NEED AND SHOULD WANT A VIRTUOUS WOMEN.

Im not sure of your religion, but if Christanity is in your blood, read proverbs 31, that will definatley explain your ideal women, a Virtuous Women.

God gives guidelines for how a virtuous woman lives. Proverbs 31 is an empowering look at the role of women. Not only is a virtuous woman righteous in the Lord, but she is a loving wife and mother, a smart shopper, a seamstress, a gardener, a good housekeeper, and trains her children with wisdom. Her husband appreciates her and can praise her to his associates and friends because she is worthy of praise.
6/25/2008 15:28 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
JustBeingMe
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GOOD WOMEN Are Everywhere .....
..... and I doubt very seriously if you'll find a GOOD WOMAN in a nightclub.

What is a "HIGH CLASS BLACK CLUB" - such an oxymoron, a club is a club regardless of the cover charge, the type of drinks sold or the music played - a club is a place where men get g'd up and women wear coochie outfits to gyrate their bodies and drink alcohol or night long while people connect to have sex, jump offs and booty calls.

Men don't go to clubs anticipating to find a Loyal, Trusting, Nurturing, Spiritually Sound, Clean, Humble, Kind, Elegant, Well Versed WOMAN to marry.

Women don't go to clubs anticipating to connect with an Honest, Hard Working, Communicative, Sincere, Family Oriented, Faith Based MAN to marry.

Looking good on the outside doesn't mean diddly because our characters are beneath the surface and that's what makes us who we are.

Money isn't important nor is it the object of conversations to WOMEN THAT HAVE THEIR OWN MONEY AND ARE FINANCIALLY SOUND. I'm a frugal shopper, I purchase ALL of my clothes at Thift Stores and look just as good and BETTER than the next female who shops at high end stores. I probably have every designer known to mankind in my closet and for a fraction of a price. I'd turn hide in the other direction if I met a man wearing a $500 shirt because that's outrageous to spend THAT much money on one item of clothing when a $50 shirt would have the same effect = it's not the clothing that matters, it's who's wearing the clothing that counts.

NOT EVERY WOMAN is materialistic or superficial. There are many WOMEN alive and doing well today that don't chase after the next person's money.

Very slim chance to none that people of CHARACTER or INTEGRITY go to clubs. When was the last time you went BALLROOM DANCING, to a MUSEUM, an ART GALLERY, a GOLF CLASSIC, attended an INVESTMENT SEMINAR, a FUNDRAISER, a TENNIS TOURNAMENT, an ESTATE AUCTION ..... heck, how about the LIBRARY.

Is there such a good thing as a NORMAL sistah - Sure there is, and may I suggest you expand your horizons if you care to associate and know us for the WOMEN we are.



brian07 wrote:
NC_28269 thats not always the case though. because I've consider myself(and have been told by countless of others mostly sistas) that I'm a very attractive dude. I can walk up to a sista, start off a small conversation like "hello".."whats your name".."would you like to dance"..the floor could be empty, and that sista would probably turn a brotha down. I'm not saying always, but it's more like a 50/50. Where as white and latina girls, just get out there have fun and cool to talk too. I've been to high class black clubs, and the sistas in general are lookin for the brothas with the 500 dollar shirts, gucci shoes, waves, nice cars, a 4 year college degree, and the most expensive drink on the menu before they give you the time of the day. All I'm stating is, I go to the regular clubs, MOST sistas are choosing thugs who served 4 years in prison. I go to the high class clubs. MOST sistas there are choosing the brothas who went 4 years in college, status, income, everything. Is there a such thing as a normal sista?!?..I haven't seen one.


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10/18/2008 16:03 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
MyndSpirit
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thedrknghtno1 wrote:
First thing about finding a good woman or man...when are people going to realize a club is NOT the place. Clubs are social meat markets and you only see one image of the woman and man, not true examples of a complete person. In fact, if you dont attend the club for a year or longer and go back, the same people will be there doing the same thing. Doesnt say much about their potential as mates.


You have to get to know people in general. The ones you find good common ground with are the best beginnings.


Also their spirituality should be sound as well. You dont have to go to church every week to have it...it will be there always and show it everyday.




I agree with you. The club is NOT the most ideal place to meet someone if you're looking to meet someone to establish a serious relationship with. "Good" people go to clubs, to enjoy a night out from time-to-time, however it's hard to decipher the "good" from the "not so good" (if you will) in such an atmosphere.


A friend of mine suggested I go out to a "Black Affair" party (a type of event organized to bring "mature professionals" together while trying to weed out the riff raff) to meet someone. And I was like, NOPE. It isn't hard for someone to throw on some nice looking "black" clothing to front like they got it together nor is it easy to have a worthwhile conversation with music blaring, alcohol being consumed (levels unknown), with various types of people around. It's just not a good idea IMO.


There are so many factors to consider when going to a "club" (a regular one OR one that is geared towards a more mature crowd), to possibly meet "the one", and I think people kid themselves when they believe otherwise.


It's an easy way to get noticed and observe a bunch of possibilities. You don't have to do much but show up, and basically browse throw the options while possibly (hopefully) being selected.


However, when you stop and think about it, do you want to seem easy to the person you end up with and/or do you want the person you end up with to market themselves (more-or-less) in such a way in hopes of meeting "the one"? Now, I'm not knocking the clubs...I enjoy music and dancing like most black people. However, the club is not the best place to see/meet someone in their true form no matter how classy the venue is.


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10/23/2008 11:27 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Alphanista
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Maybe it IS you
From reading your post it sounds like you have a sense of entitlement. That women should be with you because there is a black male shortage and you have lots to offer. Besides college and potential, what else can you offer on an level of deep emotional intimacy and connection? We only attract people who are reflections of ourselves. Nothing more or less.

So perhaps you should start on you. Change where you hang out at for starters. Approach women on a more "Oh, there you are" than an "Here I am" kind of stance. Women gravitate to men who seem elusive, but always present. Then you can approach. Hope this helps.



Peace07 wrote:
I’m a smart, educated brotha that is about to finish college in May. I go out to bars and night clubs and it seems like I don’t get any love from the Ladies. I’m very respectful and not much of a womanizer like my other friends, but it just seems like all the ladies want is a nigga that reminds them of Young Jezzy OR lil Wayne and not a brotha that is young and full of earning potential. Now granted, currently I’m still a broke college student; but even so I still should be getting some kind of play. Especially with the decreasing selection of black males available (prison, gay, or just doing nothing). I love my black women and will not settle for anything less. But whats good? What do I have to do?


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10/24/2008 19:41 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Alphanista
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Definitely needs to expand his circle
I agree with below...but he is young, now you know


cleopatrasmile wrote:
You say where are the "good women"? Are you a good man? Are you dressed decently, respectful and reflecting what you are looking for? People are generally attracted to what they want in a mate. Of course, most good women are volunteering at church, working on their careers or reading a good novel if not at the gym working out. Not spending much time in bars. Good luck on your search.


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10/24/2008 19:43 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
spinxsett
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hey i agree pretty much with everyone on this forum in one way or another. i too had that problem with dealing with dating and black women and sad to say i still have that problem with one exception; i date outside my race, ALOT,LOL!

A Bit of advice, stay away from clubs and bars. both are just media marketed meeting places designed to part you from your money with promises of alcohol and beautiful women.

The "thug swagger" ive also been quite intrigued by and bewildered at my sistas for the same reason. i did a little personal research and analyzing and came to the conclusion that under the "thug swagger" its about what they represent and how they make the women feel. especially for black women, these type of brothas are part of their every day lives. they are fathers, brothers, friends, uncles, grandfathers and so forth. this character type is embedded into their subconcience and so is more likely to attract them do to familiarity. also as mentioned earlier, a sort of go-getter attitude mixed with positive energy and the belief that they are the best usually equates to Confidence. simply put, women like confidence, positivity, and ambition.

you might like to frequent places such as, poetry slams, lounges(which are low key), and meetups(done online). for me these "places" have greatly increased my chances and successes of meeting and hooking up with quality intellegent women. also stated by your fellow posters such places like work, school, bookstores, or pretty much any place you find yourself at, just keep your eyes open for the signals.

you might want to study how the thug "swaggers" to get an idea on how to immulate not his manurism or speach or what not but on the underlining principles that make up the structure of his character. be confident about what you say, how you do things, and how you carry yourself. always be positive by smiling, thinking and talking about positive things, and just having a good time. Be ambitions by knowing what you want by letting the ladies know what your about (weither its coochy, money, success, fame, or a combination of all these i would hope). you'll be so bussy trying to get 2 out of the four things listed that you wont notice that the chicks will be throwing themselves your way to see what your about.

also keep in mind that your character type(basically how you present yourself) may not be what these type of women are use to interacting with. such things like language, manurism, clothing, mental aquity, tast and leisure activities( you may read the wall street journal but they might just read essence magazine!) usually these things play a large part in messing up the interaction between you and black women. you might be to refind, they might be to ghetto. for me dealing with white, asian, and indian women has been alot more lucrative for me for jsut that. im a different type of black man. you maybe to and it might benefit you more to jsut explore those other types of chicks. you might be happier.
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Alvena
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Professionalism.............. SMH

Sadly I have to agree with you. But the double standard embedded within your statement drives me crazy!!! Who are the women giving the booty to? Men!! It seems to me that personal accountability and management of self behavior aside......it begs to be asked, when are men going to contribute to taking things back to real relationship and start turning down all the booty that desperate women seem to think that they have to give up in order to get you!!?? On the one hand, men relish in getting as much ass as they can and then openly admitt that it isn't the ass that they would want for a lifelong committment! Do you think that if men would start making a concerted effort to protect what real RELATIONSHIP is about that some of these very young, inexperienced, unwise and even older women will lock away the cookie and wait for true committment and dare I say it....love!?
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11/6/2010 19:40 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
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