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Forum Start > The University Cafe > News Headlines & Stories > Equality for unwed Fathers sought
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hmurchison
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Equality for unwed Fathers sought

http://www.boston.com/news/globe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2006/03/27/equal_rights_for_unwed_fathers/


Quote:
One of the men profiled in the article, 23-year-old Arizona resident Adam Clayton Jones, learned that his former fiancée -- who had ended their relationship -- was pregnant and seeking to put up the baby for adoption in Florida, where they had met while attending college. An adoption agency called Jones to ask for his consent to the adoption. He refused, fully intending to raise the baby himself. But Jones did not know that in order to exercise his parental rights, he had to register with the state registry for unmarried fathers. Because he missed the deadline, he lost all his rights and has never seen his child, now 18 months old.




Unreal, in the year of our Lord 2006 that a biological father has his rights to his daughter abridged because the state of Florida requires him to sign some registry. Why should there be a deadline in the scenario? Why wasn't he contacted by the bio mother to offer the daughter to him? Why are father's seen as nothing more than a paycheck. Why are our rights to our child an afterthought. Why are are boys struggling in school and in life? I think if you look under the rug you'll see the damaging effects of fatherless children, adversarial parents and a government woefully incompetent to server as arbitrator of family matters.


Quote:
In most states, the unwed father has to file with the registry either within a certain period of the child's birth -- from five to 30 days -- or, as in Massachusetts, at any time before the adoption petition is filed. But neither the mother nor the adoption agency has any obligation to notify the man of the adoption, or of the fact that he is a father or father-to-be. Even when the father is notified, he may not be told about the putative father registry -- which is what happened to Jones, whose attorney, Allison Perry, refers to the Florida registry as a ''well-kept secret." That is the situation in most states. Not only are most men unaware of the registries' existence, even some lawyers don't know about them.



Nice. Great to see the child's best interests are at heart. 30 days and bam on your way to adoption despite the fact that your bio father may not even know you exist or that you're up for adoption.


Things like this have to change. Inequality is unacceptable in these cases.
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4/3/2006 15:25 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
VickanS
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Quote:
In most states, the unwed father has to file with the registry either within a certain period of the child's birth -- from five to 30 days -- or, as in Massachusetts, at any time before the adoption petition is filed. But neither the mother nor the adoption agency has any obligation to notify the man of the adoption, or of the fact that he is a father or father-to-be.


This is a damn shame! You're right. Fathers have absolutely no rights when it comes to situations like this. Why would there be any type of waiting period when it comes to a child's future?

Makes no sense whatsoever.

This is the kinda stuff that pisses me off when the government won't change things. They spend so much time fighting wars and haggling over silly stuff, but can't influence or change silly state laws like this.

*he jumps down from his soapbox*
4/3/2006 18:34 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Aroob
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This is truly disgusting. Is there an unwed mother registry? If not, I suggest we create one immediately! How can an civilized being play games with a child's future? We have too many children being raised without fathers, yet we intentionally make sure they are not a part of their children's life. Sorry fellas, but thank God I am not a man. No matter how you flip it, you have it bad.
4/11/2006 23:30 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
hmurchison
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Aroob

Welcome the boards. I think women have it bad likely worse than men because you're "expected" to be the great mother. However most people don't realize the trainwreck that is custody and equal rights to your child. Frankly the Government doesn't do anything particularly well in the US other than collect taxes.

Why haven't we gotten rid of these bassackward laws and create something that feels like thought was put into it? If they want to have a registry then they should commit themselves to making sure the biological father is notified of the childbirth. Telling a father that he's too late because they were too lazy to do the right thing morally is unacceptable.

It's time to wake up and get this country back onto some sort of stable ground and keeping the family together and healthy is good for everyone.
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4/11/2006 23:50 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
VickanS
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Quote:
We have too many children being raised without fathers, yet we intentionally make sure they are not a part of their children's life.


Very true. It seems that anger, resentment and ego get intermixed with common sense, and common sense is the first thing to jump ship.
4/12/2006 06:39 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Aroob
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hmurchison wrote:
Aroob

Welcome the boards. I think women have it bad likely worse than men because you're "expected" to be the great mother. However most people don't realize the trainwreck that is custody and equal rights to your child. Frankly the Government doesn't do anything particularly well in the US other than collect taxes.

Why haven't we gotten rid of these bassackward laws and create something that feels like thought was put into it? If they want to have a registry then they should commit themselves to making sure the biological father is notified of the childbirth. Telling a father that he's too late because they were too lazy to do the right thing morally is unacceptable.

It's time to wake up and get this country back onto some sort of stable ground and keeping the family together and healthy is good for everyone.



Thanks for the warm welcome. I can assure you, it's extremely difficult being a great mother even when a spouse or S/O is in the picture.

I agree 100 percent, these laws must be revamped, keeping the best interest of our children in mind. I wish I could suggest an immediate and effective solution, other than men (and) women being extremely careful of whom they deal with, and women stop being trifling.

Really how hard is it to say, "I'm pregnant, and don't want it," If you are going to carry the child for the entire pregnancy, at least be woman enough to give the man the option of being a father. To those who say, "He's not father material," shame on you, he was good enough to entertain in the bedroom.
4/12/2006 12:42 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
ecjr23
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In my opinion, I think some women do it as a way to get back at their boyfriends/husbands because of break-ups or cheating etc. I feel that the way the laws are set up, it is hard for a man to get custody of their child.
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If I could have convinced more slaves that they were slaves, I could have freed thousands more. - Harriet Tubman
5/26/2007 11:06 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Forum Start > The University Cafe > News Headlines & Stories > Equality for unwed Fathers sought

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