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Forum Start > Culture & Lifestyle > The Men's Room > Why do you need to be pushed all the time?
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Jack
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Why do you need to be pushed all the time?
Yes, Some men need to be pushed. Most of them didn't get it from their mothers or fathers. So now, you drain your woman. She feels that she has to nag you to push you to get you to take out the trash, spend time with the kids, scrub your neck, go get a job, go get one that actually pays, go the church sometimes, don't do it so fast, go get a shave, put lotion on your legs, close your legs when you sit down so you don't take up two seats. You know, this is just basic stuff we should have learned from our parents. I'm just venting. I was at the airport the other day. My flight was delayed, so I had to sit for a while. I saw so many unpolished brotha's come through with bad haircut,, dingy clothes, dirty finger nails and nagging women. So I go to wondering, what do they need us for? I'd like to hear from some of you what you feel you have to bring to the table besides a pay check.
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4/5/2006 10:50 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
VickanS
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You know, to some extent I agree. Black men (or all men) tend to get lazy or comfortable once the relationship is in cruise-control. I mean... if a man is obviously neglecting his parental duties, household chores, his kids, his manners, etc. etc., then he needs some work.

But I would also add the fact that many Black women want a lot of stuff from brothas these days! It used to be a man could have a deep, suave voice; a halfway decent job; and be handy with a monkey-wrench around the house; and the sistas would say, "I've got myself a good man!"

Nowadays, women want everything. They want all that stuff and about 50 other things that most brothas ain't bringing to the table.

So yeah... some brothas need to be pushed on some things and that's not necessarily good all the time. But I think we also have to look at the fact that Black women's expectations have gone way up.
4/5/2006 16:48 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
hmurchison
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It's all about the loot.

As much as I hate to say it money begets resources. Black men have simply not as a whole been successful in penetration the upper level jobs and when that happens you are precariously close to homelessness.

Life is generally better with a decent amount of money in the bank and excitement in the future.

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4/6/2006 12:28 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Jack
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I am so glad sista's have started raising their standards. I sure am glad mine did. What's wrong with a woman wanting the finer things in life? What's wrong with her wanting a man that wants the finer things in life? Our black women have been content for tooooooo many years. Settling. I personally have never been interested in a woman that didn't want anything. Because to me that would mean she would never try to help me to get anything. More power to the women with drive. More power to the men that can provide. These are the people that will raise children that want the finer things.


(Last edit:: 4/11/2006 11:44)
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4/6/2006 12:34 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
willie6
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I dont think there is nothing wrong with a woman having standards but they expectations have went high. If a man is a good man and what he brings to the table today is good....... why is he all of a sudden not adequate enough when a sista increases her standards???

To me that ain't right. I can understand if a woman comes to that decision on her own without a man in her life. But for sistas to decide midstream that "they want something better" is unfair.

If Im unpolished and she knows it, who is she to change me once the relationship gets going???
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4/6/2006 15:54 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
hmurchison
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Willie6 you know what it reminds me of? When watching Heston playing Moses and his reaction when he saw the Golden Calves on Mt Sinai. Black women are being told that the path to happiness is one in which you scramble to the top of MT Sinai forever praising that Golden Calf. Is a life of affluence and oppulence really that special? Do people who live this lifestyle really look happy or do they simply ramble on through life eating a bit better than the regular person and dressing a bit better?

No matter how much money I obtain I'm cognizant of the fact that to have a true love isn't something that can be bought or sold. It's priceless. I wish that my educated black women understand this when deciding on what they consider to be "their standards"

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4/7/2006 16:11 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
trek
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Black Men and Women
Willie6 and hmurchison:
Both of you are correct. A women who has more education should not rub it into her man's face if he's unpolished. We all can get better. We all can do better and we can improve our relationships, but selfessness always rears it ugly head. It's about the heart. Where is a person's heart and if it not bent toward doing the right thing according to how the Bible outlines relationships then their will be drama. We all have issues, but the greatest book in the bible which I consider to be the Book of Proverbs, answers all these questions. It's the book of common sense and we don't use it. Read my article, on my web site called "The Right Mr. Right" and you'll be saying, "That's it!" It on www(dot)positivejourney(dot)com. Or you Can google the title. I think a lot of women need to read the article I wrote and become a little more educated. "The Right Mr. Right"
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4/7/2006 18:57 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
willie6
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But you ain't gonna find many sistas who agree with any of this. Black women have got to a point where they want what they want. It doesnt matter what you may bring to the table.... they want what they want.

Men usually (not always) take the woman they got and accept her. Women seem to take the man thats there for the moment, but still desire the type of man they really want. Which just causes them to feel like they've settled for a certain type of brotha and then have to "improve" him in order to keep themselves happy.
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4/10/2006 08:35 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Jack
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There really comes a time in a man's life where he should be simply tired of being looked down on and makes a conscious effort to rise up and take on the responsibilites that a man should have. I spent some time recently on a volunteer assignment for one of the local jails and met so many brothers inside that just made so many excuses as to why they were inside, why the made the decisions that they made, and how negative they speak about the younger brothers coming up. (from drugs, to sexual addiction, to laziness, to violence, to unemployment, to lack of knowledge, to the lack of contact with their children, to their choices of women, to their choices with homosexuality).
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11/21/2007 10:58 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
alval24
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Ok brothas theres nothing wrong with a women having high standards. Actually its a good thing. But if the man is absolutely trying his best and doing all he can to provide and be good lover to a woman, and its still not enough than i must say it has to be discouraging. There are brothas that have high quality jobs outside of being an athlete or in the entertainment business. You also must also understand that the white man in most cases have a head start on us brothas just because of their race. Im not tring to make an excuse because there isn't any reason why a black man can not be at the same level as white, but we usually have to try twice as hard.
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12/6/2007 08:35 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
doneit
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There was a president of the U.S. His mother in law thought he was not good enough for her daughter. Brothers, all of you are missing the basic point. Women are FASTIDIOUS. Nick picky, precise, hard to please. Look it up and you'd see. As long as that woman loves a man, that fastidious behavior is for the home, family and husband but, Lord help you if that woman turns that fastidious behavior around. For example, when King David found the Ark of the Covenant, he was dancing in the street with the common people. David's wife looked out the window and saw David dancing with the common people and DISDAINED him. That marriage was finished at that point. Once a woman disdain a man, ain't nothing that man can do. Why do you think a man takes $200.00 to the grocery store and come home with 20 bags. A woman takes $100.00 to the grocery story and come home with 60 bags. She is fastidious, meticulous, pickiy, etc. That is a woman's nature.
7/24/2009 18:03 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
coolyfett
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VickanS wrote:
You know, to some extent I agree. Black men (or all men) tend to get lazy or comfortable once the relationship is in cruise-control. I mean... if a man is obviously neglecting his parental duties, household chores, his kids, his manners, etc. etc., then he needs some work.

But I would also add the fact that many Black women want a lot of stuff from brothas these days! It used to be a man could have a deep, suave voice; a halfway decent job; and be handy with a monkey-wrench around the house; and the sistas would say, "I've got myself a good man!"

Nowadays, women want everything. They want all that stuff and about 50 other things that most brothas ain't bringing to the table.

So yeah... some brothas need to be pushed on some things and that's not necessarily good all the time. But I think we also have to look at the fact that Black women's expectations have gone way up.


it is my first time posting here, its nice there is place this that exist. much props to the owners of the site. I have to agree today women want way too much. Some of the things wanted are just unimportant. Its really difficult. what ever happened to the cool chicks??? Remember the sistas that used to like us because we were funny, made them feel pretty and they could talk about anything with us? Now its just Divas.......just Divas. And every diva has her long list of wants. I remember in school most of the sista were really cool people to be around, then after college they all turned into that little girl from the willie wanka movie. Most of us good guys better off solo just to keep the stress level down.

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2/6/2010 01:32 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
coolyfett
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willie6 wrote:
But you ain't gonna find many sistas who agree with any of this. Black women have got to a point where they want what they want. It doesnt matter what you may bring to the table.... they want what they want.
.


The dude Willie is a genius. want, want, want. lol at the finer things in life. How shallow. Cars, clothes and my occupation should not be what defines a man.
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2/6/2010 01:47 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Forum Start > Culture & Lifestyle > The Men's Room > Why do you need to be pushed all the time?

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