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willie6
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Abstinence
I heard some of the Michael Baisden show today, but it was a rerun. I think they are on vacation or something and played shows from a few weeks ago. Anyway, they were talking about men and women who choose not to have sex.

Some of the women chose to stop because of fear of diseases, the man not being faithful or offering committment etc.

Then some men called in and said they stopped for religous reasons. Some said that they wanted to wait for the right woman.

I didn't believe them dudes for ONE MINUTE!
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Willie C. In The NYC
2/21/2006 17:08 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
hmurchison
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I think everyone who choses to be abstinent has their reasons. It's actually a wonderful exercise in self control. I thought about it...for about a millisecond <grin> and then just decided that the intimacy i've developed with my gf was more important. We don't have fears of infidelity or disease.
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2/21/2006 18:24 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
willie6
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Self control? That's suicide! I guess it is a double-standard, but I can kinda see how a woman can not have sex for a long time. But a dude? Even if he's doing the "m*sturbation" thing (don't know if they'll block that word or not!)... he's gotta eventually break down.

I feel what you are saying though. I guess it depends on each persons situation.
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Willie C. In The NYC
2/21/2006 19:42 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
hmurchison
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Willie6

Do you think Men would get married faster if women held out on the loving? I do
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2/21/2006 20:04 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Sarina22
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The thing is, women don't want to go without sex no more than men do. But women usually want it with love, companionship, and a good relationship.

If a woman has reached a point when she won't sleep with men, it is often because she is tired of giving up her body to losers!
2/22/2006 05:14 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Sarina22
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Yes, hmurchison.... I think they would! But then you have to wonder if men are just getting married so they can get some goodies.
2/22/2006 05:15 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
willie6
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Hell yeah. In fact, many men do that now I think. How many times do you hear about a man marrying a woman, just to keep her around? Then when they get married, all he want to do is watch tv, hang with his boyz and stuff.

I been guilty of that a few times, but i wasn't married
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Willie C. In The NYC
2/22/2006 07:03 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
hmurchison
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Sarina22 wrote:
The thing is, women don't want to go without sex no more than men do. But women usually want it with love, companionship, and a good relationship.

If a woman has reached a point when she won't sleep with men, it is often because she is tired of giving up her body to losers!


I don't blame them either because the sex act between men and women is vastly different. I would guess that as a women it feels far more vulnerable your are allowing a man to enter your domain so to speak. I wouldn't want to be in that situation with a person I did not have feelings for.
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2/22/2006 07:35 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Jack
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If most brotha's would try abstain even just for a moment, they'll be amazed at how they'll find themselves. Start to make wiser decisions, can focus on getting in shape, build better relationships with our families and close friends, and can actually get to know a woman. Because God made women to love her husband, where is that in Genesis?, the woman will automatically fall in love with the man that she is intimate with. Because He made sex for marriage only, her spirit will see him as her husband, even when she doesn't see that. When most of us begin to learn this, we'll stop desiring to have unmarried sex, knowing what it is doing to the spirit of one of God's chosen daughters. It's been a long hard road for me, and hopefully I'll find my partner really really soon.
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3/6/2006 11:45 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
willie6
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I wont say that I think it is impossible for a man to stop having sex, but I dont think most men can do it. Unless he is having stress problems or health problems most men seem to have a desire for sex.

Maybe its just me and the dudes I hang around with. Dont nobody hardly ever say they are not in the mood for sex!

But I guess not being in the mood and not doing it (for God purposes) is two different things.
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Willie C. In The NYC
3/9/2006 18:30 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Sarina22
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I don't think most men care about living by Faith. Most think in the flesh and don't mature beyond that for some time.

Some never mature beyond that!
3/10/2006 08:05 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Jack
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Man, I just had to log in to tell you'll about this. I had a lunch meeting at a hotel near the airport today. Afterwards, I set at the bar to have a drink and a couple of brotha's came in. They'd just finished a meeting as well. I heard them talk about women and their strategies for getting them to give it up, and if they don't, and how soon they usually disappear when she does. I'm so glad my younger sister is married now, and I hope she remains married, because this non-sense hasn't gotten any better for the sista's. Yeah, I used to do it too. But there comes a time in your life to stop this, especially when we think about what our own biological sisters have to go through with men. Mine used to call me crying, sometimes throwing up from heartbreaks. I rember when she told me that she contracted herpes. And then I remember when she told me she was getting married and that he accepted her virus. What a man. It's no wonder so many women stop wanting to give it up, or give brotha's such a hard time. My sister told me why she started dating the man she is now married to, he had money, and if she was going to take crap, she might as well get paid for it, and because he's white and is attracted to strong women where-as most of us are looking for someone that makes as much of more money than we do. No, I didn't want her to marry outside of our race, but I didn't want to see her single and lonely and crying either.
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3/13/2006 12:21 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
hmurchison
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This is why it's important for us to have contact with our sons. Without capable guidance from a father these kids are turning into punks with no morality. People need to start calling a spade a spade. Not taking care of your child or abusing your woman is nothing but cowardice and insecurity. Abstinence is likely a good thing because it requires discipline.

I'm not currently abstinent but I'm "slowing down" and realizing that it's not about how much you have sex but how much quality you can bring to the lovemaking. It hasn't been easy because guys are programmed to believe that more sex = success.

The only way we can prevent this stuff from derailing our young brothas and sistas is to get them early and let them know that cheap sex is never all that cheap.
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3/14/2006 08:30 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Sarina22
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Yeah, I used to do it too. But there comes a time in your life to stop this, especially when we think about what our own biological sisters have to go through with men.


Okay, but when do you stop? Can you assume that the brothas you overheard had just started this behavior? Had been carrying on this behavior since age 18?
3/14/2006 11:23 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
DatCat06
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Unfortunately, abstinence is not the resolution......RESPONSIBILITY would be tha answer if society was not soooo far gone!
3/14/2006 12:04 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
trek
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Abstinence is the solution. It wouldn't have been stated by the Bible if we couldn't. But I will say that the bible also says, flesh is weak but the spirit is willing. Hello, are you filled with the Holy Spirit. He's a helper. But to be balanced, a decision to and not to engage in sex is personal responsibility, but it must be back up with divine power. So many women are dropping it like it hot, the men just act as if they won't or can't turn it down. For those who said yes, many of them are dead today because of AIDS. Have we forgotten.
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4/1/2006 16:20 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
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