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Forum Start > Relationships > Dating > Does a bitter heart block Blessings
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Jack
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Registered: 3/6/2006    Warnings: 0
Does a bitter heart block Blessings
for meeting that potential partner?
I have a colleague that is just so bitter about his divorce, a year now. His teen children want to move in with him now, he's paying child support, house note, rent. But he is only young 40's and is so defensive. I've expressed to him that even if he chooses not to date for a while, that he needs to heal his heart for potential Blessings not just in a relationship but in other areas of his life. What happens to men like this, good men? When their wives leave them with their confidence level isolating them from the things they need to down and the people they need to communicate with?
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For Brotha's who volunteer to mentor to the younger generation boys.
3/19/2007 14:24 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Intrepid_One
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Location: South Carolina
Registered: 3/20/2007      Warnings: 0
Good men need to realize that he is a good man! Self confidence blocks out bitterness better Shaq posting up! He did his best for the marriage, his family (I am assuming) If he is these, then believe in himself and he can't be bitter...unless he just wants to be angry at someone!

I believe a Bitter Heart Blocks Blessings! What happened to this brother didn't happen overnight! Once his divorce took place, his good would have been to get on with his life and not lament over his life change...Get out and do something! Workout more often, travel, take classes, get a part-time job...become more actively involved in his church!

Sure, allow his children move in with him...But file for sole custody equals no child support to be paid. Pay rent? For who? He gets the kids, argue in court for the house! Hey, he's enduring a life change..he gotta change with the flow!

I am divorced myself...father of five with my ex-wife. Yes, one can be bitter about his loses..family, esteem, pride...money. It all can be regained! Slowly, gradually, and patiently...loving himself and life with all it's goodnesses!
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To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly...Henri Bergson
3/22/2007 10:30 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
VickanS
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Posts: 205
Location: Texas
Registered: 1/16/2006      Warnings: 0

Quote:
Self confidence blocks out bitterness
Very true!

I believe that men should have a lot of confidence and self control. With those two things it is hard to go wrong. If you are a good man and a woman walk away let her walk. We all have been through rough times with women and have to deal with pain, but I think men have to do a better job with coping. LIke I have read in a lot of articles on this site, men should be confident and not allow a woman to control so much of his emotions and pain.
3/23/2007 13:29 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Alvena
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Anger and bitterness is usually rooted in unforgiveness...and most definitely blocks blessings. He will make himself unapproachable to others and will find himself alone or settling in a future relationship with someone that will tolerate his sour disposition for all of the wrong reasons. He needs time to heal. But he must actively participate in that healing by living life to the fullest and by letting go of the past. How much time it will take for him to feel restored within cannot be determined. It is an individual thing. Growing closer to his children that are also suffering through this divorce and tearing away will do a lot of good and will keep him from becoming (or remaining) so self focused.

I think however that he is hurting far more than he is angry and bitter. Keep him uplifted and maybe pull back from advising him about his disposition. After all he has a right to his feelings, but he needs time to get them under control and get refocused in a way that will restore his s=feeling of worhtiness and wholeness. Simply be a true friend for him as he oves through the grieving process of his marriage ending and his family being split up.
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Alvena

Phenomenal Woman...
11/6/2010 19:57 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
intellmindreacher
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ALL I CAN SAY IS LET IT GO LIFE TO SHORT BECAUSE YOU MIGHT MISS THAT REAL ONE THAT GOD HAS FOR YOU
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life is just that life
1/2/2011 18:49 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Forum Start > Relationships > Dating > Does a bitter heart block Blessings

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