Forum Start - Register
Name Password Forgot your password?

Forum Start > Relationships > Dating > Interracial Dating
Author
Thread
( [1] 2 3 >> ... Last page)
willie6
Full Member


 

Posts: 103
Location: 
Registered: 1/7/2006    Warnings: 0
Interracial Dating
I wanted to talk more about something Hmurchison hit on the the Books & Movies thread.


Quote:
Interracial relationship don't bother me. However I simply like to observe the "qualifiers" that people state for their reasons. Frankly who you date is who you date with no qualifiers needed but it speaks volumes when someone says "well I couldn't find the ideal xxxx man/woman"


I think the biggest problem with interracial relationships have to do with this statement. Those, "qualifiers" are what piss people off. Granted, there are some sistas who don't care why you date a white woman. Just the fact that she has white skin is enough. But if a black man or woman say that date outside the race because "they can't find good black people" then I think that's crazy. I think they are making an excuse for their true feelings, which seem to be ... they have a problem with self/race-hatred.

Don't know if anybody ever watched the show Girlfriends on UPN. But one of the sistas (i forget who) started dating a white dude. After that, a lot of sistas stopped watching the show. A friend of mine said that all the black guys that had been on the show who dating the sistas, all had issues. One liked sex too much; one cheated; one was lazy and could not keep a job. Then a white man comes along and is a savior and marries one of the sistas.

I ain't never had a problem with interracial relationshps. But i can't stand it when a black person says they do it because there ain't no black people to date.
__________________
Willie C. In The NYC
2/23/2006 06:02 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
hmurchison
Preferred Member


 

Posts: 183
Location: 
Registered: 2/7/2006      Warnings: 0
Willie6

I agree. It's like a slap in the face when you hear things like that. I've dated interracially and my son is biracial but I never had to justify my actions by disrespecting black women. The relationships I had where what they were and I have absolutely no regrets. Life is a learning experience and I've learned that while i've met many fine people of differing races I "connect" the best emotionally with a black woman. That doesn't mean any of the relationship have been easy but that extra "connection" helps a bit more when times are tough.

The reality about women and bad men is this. Every man reading this message knows good and well that if he wants a woman he's gotta pursue her and let her know he's interested. What this means is that women are the gatekeepers of a relationship. They are the ones who weed down the potentials and let the final man through to her heart.

Thus Ladies

If you've been dating crappy man after crappy man the issue lays within YOU and no one else. You've chosen every lazy, shiftless and sexed crazed man you had to kick to the curb later. Pointing fingers only leaves 3 pointing back at you.

As for white men. Well my gf has dated multiple white men because she grew up in a predominantly white area and truth be told while none of them really verbally or physically abused her they had their shady ways. I find that black men ...we tend to be emotional and can be arses in annoying ways but we do not own a monopoly on poor relationship skills. We're all learning
__________________
Wherever you go...there you are.
2/23/2006 07:42 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
VickanS
Preferred Member


 

Posts: 205
Location: Texas
Registered: 1/16/2006      Warnings: 0
I grew up always believing that black people shouldn't date outside of their race. Especially if the person is white, since Anglos have been the culprits of a lot of racial tension throughout history.

I learned though that it's not about skin color, but more about customs. I'm black and I have more in common with black women... emotionally, physically, historically, yada, yada, yada....

But yeah... black women tend to date bad men, then wonder why they cant find good ones. It is becuase they are spending all their time with sorry ones!
2/23/2006 13:57 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
hmurchison
Preferred Member


 

Posts: 183
Location: 
Registered: 2/7/2006      Warnings: 0
Hey I can't lie...black women just look better.

You ever notice how you can always tell a white woman's age? If she's 35 ...generally she's looking like she's 30 something. We have the benefit of a little extra melanin in our skin and my gf still gets taken for a 27 yrs old or something and my co-workers never assume that i'm almost 35. Being black has it's benefits.
__________________
Wherever you go...there you are.
2/23/2006 14:43 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
willie6
Full Member


 

Posts: 103
Location: 
Registered: 1/7/2006      Warnings: 0
Yep. It is common knowledge that black women age better. That melanin in the skin keeps wrinkles and age from showing.

But I do understand why somebody will date another race if they find them attractive or just click with them. But when they make excuses about their own race... saying they were driven to date another race, there is something wrong with that.
__________________
Willie C. In The NYC
2/24/2006 04:50 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
trek
New Member


 

Posts: 18
Location: 
Registered: 3/24/2006      Warnings: 0
OK,
Dating, if it's not done right, leads to diaster. In fact, I'm of the opinion that many black women get with the wrong man or sorry man because I suspect they don't read books about manhood. Many women black or white spend countless hours reading about the issues of women. But since I'm not a betting man, I would reluctantly say that, many women have never read a serious book on manhood. That the first question I asked my wife before we started dating and during the dating process. To understand me as a black man i asked her to read books on the subject. Not Fiction. Not the stuff that creates fantasy and and a false intimacy. Then I asked her to read my book before it was published and she did. Low and behold she obtained a better understand of me as a result, because I explored the issues of manhood. In the final analysis, if a black man does not understand the divine purpose of a black women and vice-vesa, abuse in inevietable. It's important for black women to read books about black men. Not the smut books, that tend to gratify the flesh, but books of substance that inform women about men. If I could ever that across to women who know about my book, they'd saved themselves some hearache, pain, and dissapointment. By the way, who cares if a person is black or white. if they love each other that's what counts, but no one should ever use excuses for dating another race. If love is not the main factor then it's all a sham. Women out there, read books about manhood.
__________________
Reader
4/1/2006 15:53 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
trek
New Member


 

Posts: 18
Location: 
Registered: 3/24/2006      Warnings: 0
Anyone interested in a good article, I wrote one called "The Right Mr. Right," It's been posted all over the web. Sisters might need to read it. Brothers too, so they won't get caught up in the hype. Google it if you'd like.
__________________
Reader
4/1/2006 16:07 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
VickanS
Preferred Member


 

Posts: 205
Location: Texas
Registered: 1/16/2006      Warnings: 0
I sort of agree, Trek. I totally agree with the fact that the reading material out there for women is mostly garbage. There are some good books out there that talk about black men and black relationships on a positive level. But most are about drama.

However, I think most sistas do there learning about black men by spending a lot of time with black men. In other words, they often learn things the hard way which usually creates all kind of heartache and pain.
4/3/2006 18:51 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
ecjr23
Full Member


 

Posts: 130
Location: 
Registered: 4/13/2006      Warnings: 0
I pretty much agree with hmurchison on this issue. I am from the deep south, where our ancestors were brought in on the slave ships New Orleans. I was taught not to look at a person for their skin color, but for the content of their character. I myself have a handsome bi-racial son, but I find that I have a better connection with my sisters. When I was dating my son's mother I was young, just out of school, and just getting out into the real world. The way I was raised, you take care of your responibilities. But I never truly knew a lot about my son's mother and married her anyway. It didn't work out because I was too young. Now things are different and I am much wiser. Would I date interacially again? Who knows??? Right now, if you read the thread that I placed "Need Some Advice", this woman is a beautiful sister. Yes I am still dealing with the same issue, but based on our previous talks I believe in God that she is worth fighting for.
__________________
ECJR23

If I could have convinced more slaves that they were slaves, I could have freed thousands more. - Harriet Tubman
6/20/2006 02:08 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
VickanS
Preferred Member


 

Posts: 205
Location: Texas
Registered: 1/16/2006      Warnings: 0

Quote:
but I find that I have a better connection with my sisters


I think most black men eventually realize this. I only dated a couple of white women while younger, and one asian lady. And it was basically just to hang out. I don't think I ever thought about being with them long term. I have more in common with black women and can't conceive being married to anyone else.

Not saying there is something wrong with dating outside of the race, but it causes problems when men and women do it for their own social hangups.

Would I date interracially now? If it were a casual date just to hang out, yes. But I wouldn't go out with a person of another race for serious intentions on having a future with them.
6/20/2006 08:13 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
ecjr23
Full Member


 

Posts: 130
Location: 
Registered: 4/13/2006      Warnings: 0
I haven't dated a non-black woman in years. I do not know if it is a lost of interest, but I just haven't had a reason too. But the one thing that I hate is when a sister dates a white guy just because he is driving the expensive car, or has the big house and spending money here and there. Sometimes I feel that when a white guy dates a sister, he is doing it because he wants to say that he has been with a black woman. I am not saying that there are not some good white men out there that mean well. But look at our past history, Thomas Jefferson for instance.
__________________
ECJR23

If I could have convinced more slaves that they were slaves, I could have freed thousands more. - Harriet Tubman
6/20/2006 22:48 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
hmurchison
Preferred Member


 

Posts: 183
Location: 
Registered: 2/7/2006      Warnings: 0
We black people need to take a step back and realize how beautiful and talented we truly are. If people didn't envy us then they wouldn't pay us any mind.

We're passionate, creative, athletic (mostly) and durable. I try to remember this about myself and I try to honor my black woman. It wasn't always like this. Money is no replacement.
__________________
Wherever you go...there you are.
6/21/2006 10:10 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
realme
New Member


 

Posts: 2
Location: 
Registered: 6/23/2006      Warnings: 0
Hi, I'm a white guy, aged 32, I've dated one black lady and am hoping to date another (we are building a friendship) and I was surfing the sites looking for some advice about how best to best respect and understand our cultural differences (I am from London, she is from Barbaydos).

I've been quite shocked to read some of the racist rubbish coming from both black and white respondees.

What is all this 'dating outside the race' stuff? What is all this 'race traitor' baloney? All this, 'they're stealing our men, white women are trash stuff?' I'm just taken aback because there are some of us who don't believe it's a them against us mentality. We don't actually believe there is a them and us or a different race. Different cultures, for sure, but it's not like black people are from Mars and white people are from Venus. If I marry this wonderful woman then despite the fact that she is from a different 'race' (not) we will (God willing) still have children. Why? Because there is no race, only different belief sets that come from our cultural surroundings.

I have really struggled to find any website that doesn't say anything except how difficult it will be. Well, if someone on this site is kind enough to give me some heads up on the positive aspects, and what big no-no's I should avoid, be assured - I will listen.

Come on all, let's rise above this and value each other for who we are. I love my African and Asian and British and Nepalese sisters! It's the person that counts.

Blessings to all

Realme



__________________
realme
6/24/2006 07:03 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
rodrice
New Member


 

Posts: 20
Location: Tennessee
Registered: 6/24/2006      Warnings: 0
I would not seriously date or marry outside of my race. I dont think white women can handle a real black man. I am a black man and believe in black marriages. I dont look down on interracial dating but I just prefer a black woman over any other.
__________________
All about the progress of the Afikan Race
6/24/2006 22:51 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Jack
Full Member


 

Posts: 77
Location: 
Registered: 3/6/2006      Warnings: 0
Realme, You're right, you don't know what the hoopla is all about since you have gone through some of the lives that Black (African Americans) have. If you are truly seeking understanding and advise, walk gently on this subjet. As you can see this is a site created for us, and this is how we speak about us. Walk gently, tell us why you are choosing one of ours over one of yours. Give us some legitimate reasons. You see, some brotha's are in search of a good Black woman, and to get his understanding when she is probably what he wants, you need to walk gently. If you are truly sincere, then you will have legitimate reasons and will have no problem expressing them with us.
__________________
Men of Character
For Brotha's who volunteer to mentor to the younger generation boys.
6/29/2006 10:36 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Yankeegurl1
New Member
avataren

 

Posts: 2
Location: 
Registered: 8/13/2006      Warnings: 0
I am so tired of hearing of my black people saying what they went through. Not every black person went through the hoopla. i dont like when a person tries to speak for the whole entire black race. I am a 39 year black woman whose parents went through the hoopla, ok. I didnt go through the hoopla like my parents. My parents over came all the hoopla back in those days and we they had their children, our parents move us out of a black community into an all white community. This was back in the 70's when we move into am all white community and to let u all know, the white community accepted us in their neighbor. U know why, cause the parents seen all us kids , black and white play together. See kids dont see color until the adults make it an issue. Our parents learned from us kids that color isnt an issue. Not everyone was happy about us being there but u know what, they got used to it and finally we started to be really neighbors and then we started to connect with each other a human beings. Not a race issue anymore. U hear the myths about black people and white people. Get to know a person first before u have ana opinion on them. It the year 2006 and now I go back to my old neighbor where i grew up at and now, it is an all mixed community now. Still a nice community. About interracial dating, I have had my share of black men in my life and some were good and some were not so good. I am now dating a white man who I have alot in common with. Yes, I do have alot in common with this man. Cause Im black and he is white doesnt mean we dont have anything in common. I work for a resturant as a server and my boyfriend is a lifegurad at a beach resort in Maryland. We work in the same but live in different states. He lives in Delaware and i live in Maryland. He only lives 30 minutes from me . It's not a long distance relationship as u might have thought it would be. When we met, we started to talk and develop a friendship and now the friendship has grown into a loving relationship. We didnt fall in love to shock people. He just happen to be that person who brings joy to my life. We compliment each other, encourage each other, support each other, just everything. What I am saying is that stop using the the hoopla and saying that u dont know what our people went through. To me , that is an excuse. Move on and create ur own future and stop using the past for an excuse.I agree with Realme. Explore the world and see what is out there. I did. Dont limited urself. My parents didnt allow us to limited ourselves. They always encourage us to go and seek what u want out of life. I have a job first, then a car . Me and my brother purchase a house together,so it will stay in the family and now I have a loving man who is there for me. That's all I want. To let u know, there r good and bad people in all races. Im a people person and i can get along with anyone. I work in the public eye. Realme, u continue to talk to the beautiful sista in Barbados!!!!!!!!! Im rooting for u and dont let these men on here feed u with the old hoopla cause alot these things they didnt even personally go through. They r talking as a race on what black people went through. That history now and let's move on!!!!!!!!!
8/13/2006 07:17 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Forum Start > Relationships > Dating > Interracial Dating
Pages: 3 ( [1] 2 3 >> ... Last page)

Quick reply
You need to login before you can post.




Mybrotha.COM Home | News | Articles | Relationships | Health | Lifestyle | Entertainment | Business | Jobs & Careers
Quizzes | SpotLight | Message Boards | Sitemap | Links | Terms and Conditions | Privacy Policy
© 2002-2008 Mybrotha.COM   All Rights Reserved
Powered by ASPBB v0.5 PRE
© 2004-2008 ASPBB Developers Team