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hmurchison
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realme

Many people will always focus on the negative. They will assume they know what your future will be. The only problem is humans are notoriously poor fortune tellers with poor accuracy for predicting future events.

If this fine woman from Barbados brings the mojo out in you and you do the same for her then you owe it to yourself to enter into this relationship and honor each other with love and respect regardless of the social construct we denote as "race" and it's attendant stereotypes tells you. If "I" can see the immense beauty in black women then how could I fault a white man for seeing the same. Best wishes to you and your future with this woman.

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8/15/2006 13:22 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Nique
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That was just beautiful and with much respect. It's all about the "mojo". If it's there, then it's there. Beautiful.

I come here to listen and learn from "his" perspective on things.

This helped me a lot. My friendship with a man from Istanbul has plenty of questions as it grows. We are far apart now, but soon will be closer. The question was perception of who we are, but if it working, why try to fix it. Can't wait to quote you.
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8/17/2006 09:22 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Lee4love
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I have to beg to differ here....I am a former New Yorker living in Mississippi. I plan to move back to the East Coast within 90 to 120 days. I have given the south a chance. Now on to the subject at hand. It can be true that there are few choices of Black Women at hand in many places. Now tell me--what would you do if you met a Black Woman, then another, then another--but many of them seemed so much alike? Same beliefs of Men being someone who should give, give some more--but he is cheap if he doesn't. Many say certain things that can't be printed here. So some of the Black Men are tired of that in certain communities. What you are saying is--you have many choices in a place like New York. Now imagine living in a small place--maybe 12,000, 25,000 or 55,000 and there is 35% black in population. What choices does a small town type of Man have? If we work normal hours--come home. We may have a weekend here and there to go out--if we go out to clubs. Let's say we go to church and don't frequent the club scene. Does that mean our churches offer more of a choice. Just remember--All Christians had past lives, then all Sinners have a future. Nothing is as it seems and many of our Black People need to realize--New York is not the whole entire world. So to be sarcastic--we'd have to get in our rides--pay the $2.75 to 3.15 per gallon in gas prices to go 50, 100 or more miles to find a Woman with enough class--other than what you've seen in your hood? Come on now--or should we look harder than we've looked before?
It's a bigger question to ask anyone. Lastly--I can say--I lived in NYC, Houston, TX, Germany and this small town here. I know that when given better and larger choices--a Black Man will date a Woman who fits him. But the many who date a White, Asian, Hispanic--it's by choice. Some are not making excuses-You almost love the ones you are around. But there are some of us who still make the excuse--there are not enough Black Women--or are we really telling the truth. You make the call for the big cities and the small towns of the USA.......LL
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8/28/2006 22:00 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Pearljr
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Black Women Need Love, too!
There is a difference between Black men dating outside the Black race and Black women dating outside the Black race.

The difference is there is an epidemic of single Black women and a deficit of Black men, therefore when Black men date or marry outside the Black race, they are abandoning the race and it's treason because the Black race is in desperate NEED of male participation.

30% of Black men cannot do the job that 100% are suppose to be doing, and to passify this idea "it doesn't matter" is indicative of ignorance of the facts that the virtually missing and/or positively inactive Black man is destroying the entire race.

Contrary, Black women need to look outside of the race so to bring men into our communities who can provide and protect the community. Currently, with the disproportionately high crime rate and high poverty within too many Black communities proves the FACT that men are desperately needed to be positively active to improve the status of our people and the entire Black race family.

To learn more about what to do to have more men in our race family, read my book, Black Women Need Love, too! Exposing the Conspiracy to Keep Black Women Without Love available on amazon.com

Author./Activist - Pearl Jr.

(Adminstrator Edit: No promotional links, per the Message Board Rules MBR. Thanks!)


(Last edit:: 8/29/2006 15:02)
8/29/2006 12:07 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Cocoabeauty
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Well..I certainly do understand the climate and tone that this thread seems to have on interracial dating and honestly I agree with Willie6's viewpoint and my sista Yankeegurl1. Coming from a black southern woman who has dated a white man for five years, let me tell youit's not because there aren't enough fine brothas out there. I went to a college in the heart of the blackest city in the south (Memphis), besides Atl and there were plenty of fine brothas all over the place. But there were only a handful of educated FINE black men...and there lies the dilemma that many of us educated black women face. The higher we rise on the social ladder black men tend to choose lighter skinned or white women. So...where does that leave us beautiful chocolate sisters?? Don't get me wrong I have been approached by many educated black men..but um...there is only one thing on the brain!!! We have got to date who we want because we love them and stop hating on others that find love outside the color line.
2/1/2007 14:55 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Cocoabeauty
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Well, Realme, sweetie this is to you listen up and keep your head up!!! I am a 27 yr/old African-Amercan female dating a 29yr old white man for the last five years. Let me tell you that it can work and this can be the best or the worst relationship of your life for both of you depending on who you let in your inner circle. The haters, racists, and petty people have got to go and you should hang out with other interracial couples when dating. The pressure can be enormous at first especially when it's your first interracial relationship and by having others like yourself with you it helps to relieve the anxiety. As time goes on you will learn what can be said and what can't be said..as far as trying to understand her Barbados culture just ask questions and embrace each other. You may like this website for further discussion on racial topics: www.backintyme.com/odr/index


(Last edit:: 7/28/2007 13:30)
2/1/2007 15:11 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
hmurchison
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I personally find that the biggest issue affecting black/black relationhips is the education.

I view education as a way to obtain a nice job or endeavour on a path of personal enlightenment. It's a means to an end. I don't like ignorant people. However I've met many ignorant people with Masters Degrees.

Thus my point is that black women are succombing to a elitest/feminist ideology that states "I've I'm a smart woman with a Masters Degree then my man must be the same". This ideology will impress your friends but will this lead to personal fulfillment? It's debatable.

A driven person will succeed whether they have an education or not. America was led by educated people but it was bult and maintained by rest of the collective who were/are pretty damned smart themelves.

Success in life is how YOU define it. If that means marrying a highly educated person and living an affluent life that's fine. Therefore it's not really a dearth of acceptable black men that is the issue here it's what each of us determines is our mark of success. Many men and women beleive that that's marrying a person outside of their race. It's neither right nor wrong it is just what is is.

As always my final opinion on the subject is. If you are with a person that fills you up and cherishes you as a person for better or for worse then it need not matter what skin color or socioeconomic strata they come from. Happiness is the cure all.

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2/1/2007 17:24 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
thedrknghtno1
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if it was history, african american men and women would be able to have the same benefits as all...but its still not so...Yankeegurl, you seem to be living the American dream which is twice as sad, since you have no real respect for the past as done for u.

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3/4/2007 13:26 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
thedrknghtno1
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and it true, many sisters claim that there are no good black men, but really they are just saying they havent met any out in public...the good black men are not out in clubs, or in prisons or in the closet...the good black are taking care of business...making a future for themselves...remaining close to God and family...and knowing their history.

A good black man is working...and knowledgeable no matter what education they have..and responsible for what they do for others and themselves.

I have dated outside my race but i do prefer my sistas...not having one yet...i remain the good black man...not out in public but making private steps toward my future
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3/4/2007 13:33 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Intrepid_One
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White women are simply more open, forward, expressionate, and trusting...early in the game of getting to know each other.

Here in Charleston, SC white women are all over the place exercising to look good...even to relieve stress 'cause she ain't got no man! And they talk when approached the right way...just speak up! Most Black women...man, sistas can be mean right off the muscle! Thing is, there are so many of them around a brotha can really get into trouble!
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3/26/2007 20:01 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
magicwanda
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Black women need to look across the color lines so that they may have more options!I am so tired of hearing brothas saying that the good Black male shortage is a myth.It is not a myth-it is fact! There are more Black women living in the U.S. than Black men.Therefore,there is a shortage even before you factor in unemployment,drug addiction,homosexuality, and prison stats.Being Black is not a requirement for a potential husband for me.In fact,more non-Black men meet the basic prerequisites for me.It"s really sad,but if I were to get a room full of 3000 White and 3000 Black men in their 30's and ask them to all stand ,only to have them sit when one of three questions aply to them,more White men would be left standing.My questions would be:1- do you have a crimnal record?,2-do you sell or use drugs?,and 3- do you have any children? Notice that none of the questions were about money ,status or physical apperance.I do not feel that I am wanting too much by desiring a spouse who is law abiding(past and present),drug, and child free. I refuse to lower my standards just to say that I have a Black man. I love my brothas.I do not have any love for the ones that are no good and keeping the stereotypes alive.They make if hard for the few good ones that are left.If a sista wants to have a stable loving family,she had better keep her options open.If a brotha hates to see a sista with a non Black man,then step up to the plate,better yourself and reach out and mentor a young Black boy,so that he may be fit to marry a young Black girl.That girl may be your daughter!
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Magic Wanda
6/30/2007 06:52 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
hazelbutterfly07
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I'm soooooooo tired of using black forums to talk about dating white women. Don't they get enough attention. If those of u that r interested in doing so....create a site where u can talk about that with black men like u. This is suppose to be a forum where black men and women can get together and learn from, speak to and incourage and inspire eachother. There r too many wonderful black men and women to waste our time talking about your interest in white women. WHO CARES ABOUT THEM........we have other things to deal with.

And for u BROTHA's that compare them to SISTA's.....stop doing it. U're comparing apples to oranges and it's not fair to us, our heritage nor our ancestors. Also....stop looking to your own people for permission to date MISTY.
If that's what u want to do......then do it.

Hazelbutterfly07
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7/4/2007 14:38 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
thedrknghtno1
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Black women need to look across the color lines so that they may have more options!I am so tired of hearing brothas saying that the good Black male shortage is a myth.It is not a myth-it is fact! There are more Black women living in the U.S. than Black men.Therefore,there is a shortage even before you factor in unemployment,drug addiction,homosexuality, and prison stats.Being Black is not a requirement for a potential husband for me.In fact,more non-Black men meet the basic prerequisites for me.It"s really sad,but if I were to get a room full of 3000 White and 3000 Black men in their 30's and ask them to all stand ,only to have them sit when one of three questions aply to them,more White men would be left standing.My questions would be:1- do you have a crimnal record?,2-do you sell or use drugs?,and 3- do you have any children?


i love these comments....

first where do the facts come from...What black Men Think is a movie that blows those ideas away....

Second....ALL RACES have those problems of poverty prison homosexuality etc so why is the black man being spotted the most?

Third...Put the 3000 white and 3000 black in the same room and you will get the same results...white men get girls pregnant without taking responsiblity, steal rob and kill and have been jail...the only difference is in the system and how they get treated.

Example: One man has arrested again for DUI and this is his 23rd offense...conseling and treatment have been given to him, but he still does it....white

Another man gets arrested for DUI and is put in jail, been told that he could face 5 years in prison and its his first offense....black.

Real stories...real facts...lets be clear...

have proof before its spoken...myths have destroyed the community enough...and thats what the decline of good black men is...still a myth...no solid evidence to prove it while there is evidence to prove otherwise.

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7/5/2007 11:23 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
VickanS
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Quote:
I'm soooooooo tired of using black forums to talk about dating white women. Don't they get enough attention. If those of u that r interested in doing so....create a site where u can talk about that with black men like u.


Sorry but I didnt see anywhere in the rules where mybrotha says certain topics are off limits! Like I mentioned in my other posts, I prefer to be with a black woman, but I dont see anything wrong with dating white women or women of other races. I have been a lot of places in this world and one thing I learned is that people are basically the same everywhere. People want to be happy; they want to be comfortable, they want to love and they want to be loved.

None of that has anything to do with race. If you find a white woman who makes it happen for you then you should be happy.
7/28/2007 13:44 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
brian07
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willie6 wrote:
I wanted to talk more about something Hmurchison hit on the the Books & Movies thread.


Quote:
Interracial relationship don't bother me. However I simply like to observe the "qualifiers" that people state for their reasons. Frankly who you date is who you date with no qualifiers needed but it speaks volumes when someone says "well I couldn't find the ideal xxxx man/woman"


I think the biggest problem with interracial relationships have to do with this statement. Those, "qualifiers" are what piss people off. Granted, there are some sistas who don't care why you date a white woman. Just the fact that she has white skin is enough. But if a black man or woman say that date outside the race because "they can't find good black people" then I think that's crazy. I think they are making an excuse for their true feelings, which seem to be ... they have a problem with self/race-hatred.

Don't know if anybody ever watched the show Girlfriends on UPN. But one of the sistas (i forget who) started dating a white dude. After that, a lot of sistas stopped watching the show. A friend of mine said that all the black guys that had been on the show who dating the sistas, all had issues. One liked sex too much; one cheated; one was lazy and could not keep a job. Then a white man comes along and is a savior and marries one of the sistas.

I ain't never had a problem with interracial relationshps. But i can't stand it when a black person says they do it because there ain't no black people to date.


Why do every brotha who date white women have to be a self hating brotha?..I date white women from time to time and I love myself. Maybe it's because the brotha can vibe with the women. Maybe the brotha finds her natural blond hair, pretty eyes, and slim body attractive. Maybe because the white women doesnt nag as much as black women. Maybe because brothas dont want to deal with the "its all about me" personality most sistas contain, and the baby mama drama etc. Now I'm not saying every black women is like this, but the majority are. And it makes it hard to find a good black women. The brotha remembers the time when he had no car, no money, and the average sista wanted nothing to do with him. It's like the cartoon popeye. The average good brotha sits on the sideline like popeye waiting for Olive Oyl(the black women) to leave bluto(the thug brotha). But when olive keeps running back to bluto all the time, and suffering the abuse which she puts herself into, are us good brothas suppose to play popeye and rescue you?!?...Then when most black women come to their senses that these no good thugs are bad for them. There left with excessive baggage, kids, overweight and bitterness. Then they want us good brothas to step up to the plate. But most us good brothas are with women of other races who knows how to treat men. Then sistas complain about theres no good black men out..
11/8/2007 18:03 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Forum Start > Relationships > Dating > Interracial Dating
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