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Peace07
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Where are the Good Women?
I’m a smart, educated brotha that is about to finish college in May. I go out to bars and night clubs and it seems like I don’t get any love from the Ladies. I’m very respectful and not much of a womanizer like my other friends, but it just seems like all the ladies want is a nigga that reminds them of Young Jezzy OR lil Wayne and not a brotha that is young and full of earning potential. Now granted, currently I’m still a broke college student; but even so I still should be getting some kind of play. Especially with the decreasing selection of black males available (prison, gay, or just doing nothing). I love my black women and will not settle for anything less. But whats good? What do I have to do?
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4/7/2007 12:43 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
VickanS
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What do I have to do?


Keep being yourself, my brotha!!! Don't ever change that.

Yes, there are a whole lot of black women out there looking for thugs and guys who seem like a lot of "fun". They tend to ignore the brothas who are in college, or trying to start there own biz or who dont have a lot of money. But those women eventually grow up and come to realize that looking for the "fun" brotha gets them nowhere.

What they want (which is what you already have) is substance and some sistas are immature and dont know how to find it until they grow up. But some sistas are just hell bent on being with that type of man. NOthing you can do about that. But for those sistas who ignore you and act like they dont see a good brotha, let 'em keep on acting.

One of these days they will be wishing to the Lord almighty that they looked your way. Take it from a brotha who been down that road.

4/10/2007 11:53 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
detroitchild
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Hang in there Peace07. Contrary to what you hear and see in various media outlets and gossip groups there are plenty of good.....no.......GREAT sisters out there. Don't judge all by the actions of a few.

First, as VickanS stated keep being yourself. There's nothing wrong with being a broke college student. Hell, most of us have been there. As long as you have plans to take yourself to the next level then you'll be fine. Good women can sense that in a man and are willing to give a brother like yourself a chance.

Second, determine what type of woman interest you. You're going to meet all kinds in life and you have to be able to determine who's a keeper and who to throw back in the water (and let's be blunt here...is she for tonight or is she forever).

Third, bars and nightclubs are cool to hang out in (some people have found their significant other there) but try to expand your horizons a little. Are you involved in various school, social, professional, or political organizations (or whatever floats your boat). These are great places to meet women of similar interest.

Lastly, as a college student I'm sure you are aware of online dating. This is another good venue to meet people. Though one must proceed with a little care here online is a great way to filter through women before having to actually meet them.

With all that I've mentioned there still is no perfect way to meet "The" good woman. A little patience and determination should help.

Good luck.
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detroitchild
4/11/2007 16:11 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Peace07
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Thanks for your commets, I feel what both of you are saying. I just feel like i'm far behind on where I should be with the ladies. Im still shy and quiet when I get around them and when I do get a number I still find calling very hard. I guess i have not "game". Maybe im putting the punanny on a pedestal too much. lol Im no virgin or anything but at 22 I still dont really have much exprience; I hope I dont end up like the 40 year old virgin guy. lol
But on the real I think I may save my self for someone special to avoid at least some embrassrrasment.
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Peace and Love to All
4/11/2007 21:24 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Jack
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Out looking for good men. My sister finally left her white man. As some of you know, my sister married yrs ago, to a white man, because of the lack of contact she came with quality black men of character. I didn't agree, but I was very happy he covered her. Now she's not making the best choice to leave him in hopes of once again come in contact with a quality black man. She's gone as far as the internet. I looked at her profile on it. Tell me what you think of it:

Partners (helpmeets) should help assist you in happiness, peace of mind and growth. Don't let the no photo mis-lead you, I'm a virtuous woman, the way God originally created us to be. I don't have a photo here for professional purposes. Does your profile give me a reason to want to take you to dinner and buy or flowers and eventually want to rub your feet and bake you a pie, as well as you doing this for me and not making a big deal out of doing special things to court a woman. Allow me to be the dainty women that my spirit yearns to be. In my humble spirit, I'm 5'2, 110 lbs, butter-scotch complexion, light auburn hair color, and baby soft skin, and even though I look 10 yrs younger, I still have the wisdom of a woman. God Blessed me with youthfull looks for a biblical reason, not for casual companions to touch. I have lots of sun-dresses and great legs to go with them, Ultra down to earth, but refined. This must be read to the fullest and very carefully to get a good understanding about me, because knowledge is power. It's been said, the best way to hide information from a black man is to put it in a book, since most aren't intellegent enough to read. Let's prove this to be wrong...While there's a chance you can loose all material possessions, they can never take away your spiritual or wisdom in knowledge from reading. DBF, originally from the Chgo, yes I'm a Stepper. For those of you who understand the concept of Steppin' which is symbolic to a relationship. The man knowing how to lead, and the woman willing to follow. But if he doesn't, then the whole dance is out of wack, just like in relationships. I also lived in Pasadena for a while in the Hollywood entertainment industry promoter, image consultant, so I have the big-city flair but the Southern-Bell spirit. A Toastmasters member for 25 years. From a 2 parent house-hold and understand the disfunctions of men that didn't have a father figure or role-model. I can generally spot one right away, especially from his conversation. Not that there is anything wrong with it, but there comes a time when a man should set out to find a mentor without letting his pride stop him. I can even see the boredom in his eyes, but until a man finds his purpose he will always be bored, no matter what woman he is with. I'm a golfer, skier, writer, loves to smile, very affectionate, I enjoy being feminine, sensual and meek, but am very strong when needed, I understand the roles of a help-meet, journalism major so I generally research everything I show interest in, I am working on two writing projects (a romance novel and an image consulting book to teach the younger generation and women, how to pull up their pants,tuck in their shirts and stop wearing tight pants), and would rather spend my energy on time on this. I have strong work ethics, very resourceful and career orientated, loves to host parties, I invest time in volunteering for the children's community centers, love to watch old black & white movies, Lake Lanier Island campgrounds next to the water, watching neighborhood softball games, backyard barbeques with lots of candles and lawn loungers, sailing, I find my peace in the environment of nature. My skin complexion, head full of hair, finger nails, character and smile are real, even when I awaken in the morning.

So, help,,,, where are the men that have a purpose for existence and know what it is, that are doing something substantial, not looking for a temporary fix but uses the excuse of taking his time with privileges of marriage, doesn't equait manhood by what is in his pants, not just trying to have a playful time, that are tired of being called "Tired Players", you have been taught, how to express yourself with words, and your profile reveals this. You've experienced what it feels like to love someone, even if it was just from watching a romantic movie, so now you know how to really receive it and give it. You know how to hear from the Holy Spirit, also has enough class not to go out into the general public looking unproper. Because there comes a time in a man's life where he should be tired of not knowing how to do something. Noticed, I don't request the material things. I know this will go over some of your heads because some haven't figured out what it really takes to make a male into a man, but I hope you'll take this and use it to your advantage to grow yourselves instead of loosing interest in reading this, because you were sent here to read my profile for a devine purpose, and that doesn't have to mean for me. And for those of you that understand, stand tall, because I know you are the one's out there talking to other brotha's about these topics and representing correctly. I'm so proud of you. Allowing the Holy Spirit to use you. You enjoy the company of Him and are not too proud to pray in front of others. You don't have to be told to use a photo that reflects the classier side of you, because no photo is better than a bad one. Interested in someone who can initiate and flirt in intellectual conversation that can make me boil, not one-liners, who is Born Again, who understands that we reap what we sow, for those that have ripped hearts or hit women, understand that ripped hearts will now be sown back to them, either in a partner or their children, who doesn't procrasinate or need to be pushed a lot, open-minded, meek, humble, subtle, who doesn't expect a woman to be the initiator in getting the two together by her being a member only so he doesn't have to pay for membership, who allows God to use him to be a vessel to be a blessing into someone else's life, because a man looking for character will make a way for positive things to happen and quickly, who doesn't make weak excuses for why he can't get something accomplished, who enjoys and understands the art of dating and recognizes that God created relationships, so He knows how this should be done right and making up our own rules is the way amateurs do things, men of character don't do booty calls, someone that understands that the same energy used to prepare for quality career should be put into relationship classes even before the relationship comes to him, devotion, at peace with himself and his past and not angry with an ex, attentiveness and in no way selfish, knows how to cover a woman because he knows that a virtuous woman respects a man that makes her feel safe because of the wise decisions he makes, focused and not scattered, loyal, articulate speaker, a man of character to do the right things in life and not just because someone may be watching him and can actually look his God in the eyes and not feel guilty, who doesn't run out of things to talk about because he always has something intellectual he's wanting to do even if he's not doing it so he wants to talk about it, progression, intellect, promise keeper, lots of sex-appeal and smiles, strong work ethics, physically fit, who knows what he doesn't know and makes an effort to find answers, who is willing to dvr a game instead of being consumed by every game on tv, who is interested in leaving a positive mark on the earth before he leaves it, that won't become bothered when it comes time for me to campaign for a political position, that understands that virtuous women enjoy following the lead of a man with Spiritual wisdom not just having a man with material items, and African American only. I recently adopted a son, age 5, this is my only child, so I have no baby-daddy drama. He is one of my major Blessings. I understand this may be a challenge for some men because of the responsibility. If your father was never there for you, then you generally let other boy grow up without father figures, instead of volunteering to mentor to keep them off the streets. But for those that also believe that the African American boys must be saved before they become men, because they were created like Adam(the male gender), to rule over the Kingdom of God, but can't do it if their lost and have no direction, these will feel my spirit. So if I'm afraid of my son growing up to be like you, then you're not the one for me since you will be useless. Because I'd like for him to play chess, golf, read, go to law school, not to wear baggy white tee shirts hanging out, no hats on sideways, no wife beater (white) tank undershirts, and no wrags on the head out in the public and hopefully to embrace politics and clean up this messy world. Because there's something to be said about a man with class, integrity, communication skills, and a warrior for the Kingdom. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. You should look at a relationship with someone as an investment, the same as the way you invest your money. If it's not a prosperous decision, it will be a waste of your time.



(Last edit:: 11/21/2007 09:52)
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Men of Character
For Brotha's who volunteer to mentor to the younger generation boys.
8/15/2007 13:13 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
vance87
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Peace07 wrote:
Thanks for your commets, I feel what both of you are saying. I just feel like i'm far behind on where I should be with the ladies. Im still shy and quiet when I get around them and when I do get a number I still find calling very hard. I guess i have not "game". Maybe im putting the punanny on a pedestal too much. lol Im no virgin or anything but at 22 I still dont really have much exprience; I hope I dont end up like the 40 year old virgin guy. lol
But on the real I think I may save my self for someone special to avoid at least some embrassrrasment.




You nor she can't be serious. For the sake of civility I'll refrain from expressing my true feelings, but your sister's RANT more than explains her black man issues. Her comments are an affront to any decent brother. I'll just leave it at that.......SMH
8/18/2007 18:00 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
professionalism
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I'm going to be honest with you, women are giving booty away like it is on Sale at Cosco. All you have to do is, act a certain way and tell them what they want to hear. They may all say "I don't like that or I want X in a man..." but believe me pay attention to what I woman does and not what she says (I guarantee you they will not match up in logical sense.)
-
-Now you know why so many men are out there pretending to be Mr. Bet thug.
So getting a woman in bed is the easy thing and requires little effort...but look at the cost.

You compromise who you are

You will eventually get caught in a trap (disease, babies, or female drama)

And you sell your soul just so you can get approval (be it selfish/absent minded females or their push over male counterparts.)

I'm going to tell you what I tell everyone else, never compromise who you are and what you are about to impress some broad you haven't even met yet, not worth the time or effort.

It is easy to go out and bang a broad...but it takes work to find a woman...Never settle for less, don't tolerate bullshit, and never date from the bottom of the barrel.
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"Thugs, pimps, players, and bad boys would not exist if women did not first condone, reward, and pursue their behaviors"
8/20/2007 19:29 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
alesha
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I'm a good woman all the way. I do what every good woman does. its just so happen im a bit on the plus size and i have to loose weight for myself first and for affection. so think twice about not finding the right woman
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Let...love...live
05-16-08
9/2/2007 08:36 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
robocop75
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I agree with professionalism. We as men often put on an act just to get our lady, whether it's sex or a phone number we are after. But it's all a facade, and eventually she will see the real you. An you too will see the real her. Thats why later women will say, "when we were dating you use to ______" but that was our method of getting her. Once we get her, mission complete. This is not how it should be but it is for most. So my advice to you is number one don't look for a good woman at a bar or a night club. Not saying that they are not there, but your chances are better in other places. Number two, don't look for a woman yet, focus on graduation and what plans you have for after that. It will throw a big monkey wrench in all you have worked hard for a night of fun and some girl comes up pregnant. Not only will you severely affect your life but you will also affect hers and the childs. Like you said you are currently broke, may even have student loans/credit cards. Get your employment plans straight first. where will you work? where will you live? is your car in good shape? how's your credit?,Then you can be a success in life and be a good role model for our children. Don't worry about the women, take care of yourself first and when you have considered these things, and can intelligently answer them then you will be ready for a woman. Because contrary to popular belief and society, a good woman will be far more impressed by a man who can discuss these issues, rather than a man that uses the word nigga freely. You are about to have a college degree-speak like it. Use big words if you know them and act and sound educated. Unless you want to be a rapper use the education you ae paying for. We cannot get ahead if we go to college but don't change. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with using the word nigga-but this is a site for black men, best believe that a good black sista is out there looking...and she is not looking for a thug. She can go to the club for that.
Holla


(Last edit:: 9/27/2007 18:16)
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If a man speaks in the forest and no woman is around, is he still wrong?
9/27/2007 11:56 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
VickanS
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Quote:
Don't worry about the women, take care of yourself first and when you have considered these things, and can intelligently answer them then you will be ready for a woman.


I could not agree with you more Robocop. It's all about where your spirit is and how you want to live your life. Become the best man you can be first ... then worry about the women.
9/27/2007 18:00 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
ecjr23
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Today's society, it's all about materialistic items more so than the character of a person.
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ECJR23

If I could have convinced more slaves that they were slaves, I could have freed thousands more. - Harriet Tubman
9/30/2007 17:50 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
gwil06
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I have read all of the comments from everyone and I want to say to the brothas, get your mind right and the right woman will come. And to the sistas that might read this; don't try to completely change us or upgrade us, just love us for who we are and work with us to try to be the man our fathers and grandfathers used to be.
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10/19/2007 11:39 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
NC_28269
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Welcome to the "real world" Peace07. It's time for you to start making real life decisions which include companionship. It's up to you on whether you decide to be with that artificial/fine female with long weave and acrylic nails or the avergage/trendy female that you saw in Starbucks. Good women are not going to approach you or let you know through osmosis that they are worth persuing. You have to take some initiative and go after the type of female that you want!
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The truth hurts...
10/31/2007 10:32 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
brian07
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I kind of have to agree with the person who started this thread. When I go to the clubs and bars, I come with a clean outfit, clean shoes, clean body smell, clean breath, clean look, clean everything. I'm a well spoken brotha, that drives a descent car, with a descent job, young, and starting college soon. When I approach these sistas at clubs, they look at me as if im not "hood" enough to talk to them. They want a brotha to buy them drinks, dont want to dance with you, dont want nothing to do with you after you buy them drinks. Its kind of like a thanks, but no thank you. Some don't even give a good brotha like myself the time of the day. Yet I see a dirty, rough neck, player type brotha from the hood with dreads, and gold teeth go right up to the sista, with no respect at all towards them, with lines like "A H** lets dance"..and the same sistas that rejected me for being to "nice" to them, are the same ones that are just flattered with these dudes that have no respect for them. Of course they get dances, and these "player" brothas arent buying these sistas no drinks. And if they do they're getting laid. But the thing that gets me irritated is the fact that, I can go and approach a white or latina women easily, and get dances from them, have a good time, they offer to buy me a drinks, and these same sistas that rejected me, are on the wall standing with there girlfriends giving me dirty looks for having fun with women of other races. This isn't just at clubs, this is reality that I've been going through for a year now. I know not all sistas are like this, but sadly 70% of black women act like this. It's hard to find the good sistas thats not into the badboys. Thats just my opinion I dont mean to offend anyone.
11/8/2007 17:13 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
NC_28269
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ok brian07

Asking women to dance...
For real...women have the same feelings that men do when it comes to the physical being the conversation starter. If you are not attractive or appealing to a female's eye (as we are told so much by men) then no, we are not going to dance with you. I think that is just freedom of choice.
If the dancefloor is packed...I say yeah approach a lady and ask if she wants to dance...but if there is a handful of people on the floor and it's just not a dacing type enviornment, start off with a hello and some conversation before asking to dance. I say this only because most when will not go on the floor to dance if there are only a handful of people already out there on the dancefloor.

Women want thugs...
I can't agree that all women are flocking to the thugs. But what I can say is that you have to choose your surroundings carefully. Don't go to those places where you know men can enter with baggy jeans, t-shirts and ball caps. We can't talk about the "baller" type dudes because a gold-digger will always be a gold-digger. So my advice to you is to step out of the box and go to those parties where you know people are concerned about their reputation and well-being.

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The truth hurts...
11/9/2007 15:42 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
brian07
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NC_28269 thats not always the case though. because I've consider myself(and have been told by countless of others mostly sistas) that I'm a very attractive dude. I can walk up to a sista, start off a small conversation like "hello".."whats your name".."would you like to dance"..the floor could be empty, and that sista would probably turn a brotha down. I'm not saying always, but it's more like a 50/50. Where as white and latina girls, just get out there have fun and cool to talk too. I've been to high class black clubs, and the sistas in general are lookin for the brothas with the 500 dollar shirts, gucci shoes, waves, nice cars, a 4 year college degree, and the most expensive drink on the menu before they give you the time of the day. All I'm stating is, I go to the regular clubs, MOST sistas are choosing thugs who served 4 years in prison. I go to the high class clubs. MOST sistas there are choosing the brothas who went 4 years in college, status, income, everything. Is there a such thing as a normal sista?!?..I haven't seen one.
11/9/2007 21:07 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
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