Passion Players or Cautious Shoppers?
By Mybrotha.COM Relationship Editor
For a lot of men who peruse the dating scene in search of sexual relationships, holding on to a meaningful connection is hard to do. Even for a man who says he's ready to settle down -- the interest in a relationship will sometimes fade long before any ties are broken and it usually spells trouble for women.[/quote]
Relationships take work. They demand sacrifice, compromise and communication. They also require sincerity and honesty.
No shit Sherlock Homes Slice
Men who begin sexually explosive relationships will sometimes lose interest after the passion is gone -- a painful and unfortunate result of relationships that start with good intentions and uncontrolled desires.
It's all about knowing what you want, either a quick nut or someone to cook you breakfast for you every morning (that is if women can still cook in this day and age.)
The behavior is often seen in men who feel ready for serious relationships, but remain locked in a teenage mindset of fantasy pursuits and sexual encounters.
Most women do not mentally mature until 40 (after the partying, the clubbing, and hiding their insecurities behind career) or until after the 3rd baby daddy has left them high and dry and they go looking for a "good man" to clean up their mess.
The relationship usually begins great. It progresses through one or two years of spending quality time together -- but ends as a tedious battle leaving both persons unfulfilled. The man becomes disinterested in sex and almost all forms of communication grinds to a halt.
What about women who more likely than not will use "sex" as a bargaining tool? Or as a means of control? Certainly today's single, independent, sexually free "I don't need a man!" woman fits into the equation?
Stop right there, everyone is supposed to be emotionally independent, so how is that a bad thing? You carry your own baggage and weight, just like everyone else...(women could learn from that)
Relationship experts believe men who engage in these "start good--end bad" relationships are emotionally independent...
Playing can be fun but there is more to life than that...and once you realize the "truths" behind it you will realize who you are giving your power to you won't enjoy it as much.
creatures who may actually desire true love, but are unable to build upon established connections. These men enjoy the chase and the initial thrill of finding, getting, and tantalizing the girl, but once it wears off -- the affection disappears and the search for the next conquest begins.
Are players truly free, independent minded men who do as they please? Or men who are only motivated to impress booty?
To a woman - the entire relationship may seem confusing. A partner, who once showered her with love and tenderness, slowly drifts away and pays her little attention. She may become angry or resentful, and her faith in establishing a quality relationship with a "good" man may fade. Women who experience relationships with these types of men often carry their confusion into the next relationship -- spending too much time wondering when it may change for the worse.
So the next man has to pay because of the woman's previous screw up? Where is the woman's responsibility, after all she is "strong and independant..." right?
Men who cannot quite figure out why the intensity disappears are also left wondering. Most passion players do not understand their own inability to make sacrifices. They reject their inadequacies and repeatedly jump into relationships that are doomed to fail. The key, according to relationship therapists who consult both men and women on the issue -- is for men to define their priorities.
Again you are asking the man to give his "all" tow 100% of the line, while the female does nothing and gets whatever she wants. W Now I'm all for being a leader, special treatment, etc. but a woman has to do more than bend over and say "Get on it!" Sex is nice, but you have to bring more to the table than booty and good looks.
The desire for sex and intimacy will always be there, but "passion players" should avoid relationships until they are better able to tackle their own inhibitions and place someone else's feelings above their own. Only then will these men be prepared to participate in a meaningful relationship.
Can you preach the same points towards women or is it just a "male" problem?
My final verdict, this article has some truth in it...there are cats out there who either don't know what they want, scared to be leaders, or are too indecisive, so much so they should be considered female. But lets not get it twisted, get off the "blame the men" bandwagon. There is more to a fading relationship than "passion playing," such as the games women love to play
"its yours!...no it aint, you can have it!...you can you cant!"
and the influence of external factors, (how many angry/jealous/catty women does your girl hang around with?)
You can blame the men in this respect; a wussified men who bend over backwards to please selfish brats and try their damnedest to turn a hoe into a housewife....now that is all the males' fault. Leave the trash on the side of the curb fellas...You have to hold these females to the highest of standards and tolerate no bullshit.
(Last edit:: 8/1/2007 19:18)