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mama_africa
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Independent Woman?
The word "independent woman" is beginning to be used to freely..what exactly is an independent woman??One who can rely on herself UNTIL a man comes around...One that can take care of herself while a man IS around..Let us make the differentation on this wod


(Last edit:: 12/5/2007 17:59)
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mama_africa
11/17/2007 17:07 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
VickanS
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I think the word has started having negative meanings. Many black men look at independant women has 'high maintenance'. They feel like these women are independent for a reason. They tend to have that "i dont need a man" attitude.

But to me that attitude is based on material things like houses, cars, money. I dont think any of those material things should make a name for a woman. If you have those things then good for you. If you dont have those things and want them, then you will either have someone get them for you or you will get them yourself.

But i dont think the word independant women is necesarily a woman who is "waiting" for a man to come around therefore she must rely on herself until he does. I think independant women are independent regardless. Its more of an attitude than anything. Even if a independent woman eventually find a man to be with, she will still be independent in many ways. Most of those ways are with the other stuff i mentioned...money, clothes, cars.

She wont and cant be independent when it comes to love though. Which is probably why she still wants a man... no matter how independent she is.
11/18/2007 11:27 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
thedrknghtno1
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this is a loose term that many women have used but not really understanding...women are already independent financially...more women are having higher salaries than men...and taking care of things for themselves...the part that is difficult is the role of man in the life of the independant woman...

its simply this...man cant exist without woman and woman exist without a man...spiritually we are one...its just that many women and men have been hurt...so they concentrate on other things...but when they finally reach "independence" they are not happy for no one to share it with...

independence comes at a price...be ready to pay when you take that road
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11/19/2007 16:22 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
mama_africa
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so basically a woman can be independent but she has to but that aside when she is looking for a man?
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mama_africa
11/28/2007 15:37 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
paradigmofpain
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You guys are dissecting this way further than necessary. To be disgustingly simple, to be independent means not being dependent of something or having to rely someone, nothing more.

In the context of this post, we are all dependent of something or someone until age 18 or 21, if you still live at home with parents, if you have a spouse, or require a certain kind of care. If none of these apply to you, you are therefore "INdependent." Even if you are searching for, seeing, or dating someone, you are still independent. Unless your boyfriend or girlfriend is helping you maintain your lifestyle continually (i.e. financially, food, health, transportation, etc). you therefore depend on them. Hence, you would no longer be independent.

The connotation "independent woman" or even "independent man" is often times misunderstood purely because we at times use such terms for validation. Whereas, our character should be the definitive beacon of who we are. Just my 2 cents.
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11/30/2007 13:21 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
brothaman
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The advance of the independent woman has made dependent woman come into high demand. Why would a man want a woman that would do just fine without you. It means your not needed. Forget that. If you have a woman who needs you she is guaranteed to be down for you. To be easy going and agreeable. There is no upside to dating an independent woman. Let her stay single.
12/5/2007 09:50 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
mama_africa
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brothaman wrote:
The advance of the independent woman has made dependent woman come into high demand. Why would a man want a woman that would do just fine without you. It means your not needed. Forget that. If you have a woman who needs you she is guaranteed to be down for you. To be easy going and agreeable. There is no upside to dating an independent woman. Let her stay single.


OKAY SO YOU ARE SAYING A MAN SHOULD HAVE A WOMEN THAT DEPENDS ON HIM? WOW, IT IS FUNNY HOW SHE WILL BE USING ALL YOUR MONEY AND ALWAYS NEEDING YOU FOR "EVERYTHING". WHEN I SAY INDEPENDENT WOMAN I AM TRULY SAYING ONE THAT CAN PROVIDE FOR HERSELF WITH OR WITHOUT A MAN. IT DOES NOT NECESSARILY MEAN THAT SHE DOES NOT WANT A MAN. SHE IS ABLE TO DEPEND ON HERSELF WITH OR WITHOUT THE PRESENCE OF A MAN. I GUESS MEN FEEL AT SOME WHAT OF A COMPETITION WHEN THEY HAVE A WOMAN THAT IS CAPABLE OF PROVIDING FOR HERSELF WITHOUT THE HELP OF HIM. BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN SHE DOES NOT NEED HIM PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, OR SPIRTUALLY.
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mama_africa
12/5/2007 16:17 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
doneit
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What about the origination of independent women
1/23/2008 22:18 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
koolayUK
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I think all men and women are independant when they are single, unitl they come together and then the become co-dependant on each other. In a way it is until someone comes along,but if we are not independant then will won't survive. I think the sterotypical independant women as descibed by Destiny's Child etc is an excuse for bitter women, who are not fully in love with themselves to justify why they are fine to be on their own. When people have time to be by themselves and time to be independant it gives them time to really figure out what they might want from a future partner and will stop them from using that person and that person form using them.
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Sparkle
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I don't understand why "independent" should be such a negatively viewed term. Nor do I understand why "need" is only perceived 2 dimensionally. Am I independent? Yes. When it comes to the physical attributes in life I can do pretty much what I need to on my own. But, when it comes to relationships there is no such thing as independent. You are now a "We" the very nature of relationships speaks to mutual dependency. Just because I may not need him to pay my rent does NOT mean that I don't need him to be loving, kind, generous, adventurous, humorous, honest, faithful, spiritual, and attentive. I NEED those things and if I love him? I NEED those things IN HIM. He is not just some supplement to my life he is an ASSET to my life one of which I NEED. I may not need him to be my hero but I WANT him to be and I love that he wants to be and I NEED for that want to be in him. The reason I value independence is because it gives me the opportunity to be whole within myself and allows me the perceptions, confidence and know how to NEED to be whole WITH someone else. I don't see that as bad or bitter or intimidating...but extraordinary. I'm not big on most hip-hip songs but this line from Ne-yo I do like "Baby, I'm good all by myself, but you make me better."
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6/30/2008 11:39 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Forum Start > Relationships > Dating > Independent Woman?

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