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Blue_1914
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A Brotha in Search Of Clarity
I'm new to this site but here goes......

My wife left me about a month ago and really never gave me a clear reason. I will always love her be as this is the second time we have separated under this type of guise I just think perhaps I should let her have her life back. What I mean by this is that I haven't been given a clear answer why she has left either time. I cant lie and and say it don't matter or hurt cause it does. It hurts likes hell.
I miss her but she wants a divorce. I respect her wishes but I cant say that I understand them. I have loved her for the last seven years of our life together and its so hard to just let go. There is so much to this story but i will digress. I think I just felt like I needed to vent and say that its not too easy when you are truly truly in love regardless to what the other party is feeling, when you love someone its rough. I love her still and Miss her so.
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In the end we will remember not the Words of our enemies but the Silence of our friends.~ Martin Luther King Jr.
6/16/2008 12:35 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
nezmarie
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Wow, I truly understand where you're coming from and how you're feeling. It's hard to really express an opinion because I dont know your whole story, but speaking from personal experience, here's what I think...
I don't doubt that your wife loves you, but time and change are inevitable and she maybe feeling differently in her life right now and moving in another direction. It may be best for you two to part ways before resentment sets in and things gets ugly. Only she knows her reasons and motivation for wanting to end the marriage, but after 7 years together I think she should at least give you an explanation. It's going to hurt regardless because you are still in love with her, but w/o some kind of closure it's even more difficult to move on.
Its seems like you've made up your mind to respect her wishes and let her go, but I suggest that you sincerely ask her for an explanation (for your own sake). If she insists on being vague and leaving your questions unanswered then she's being selfish and though its hard, you'll need to walk away. I am living testimony that time heals all wounds and in time you'll find love again if you open yourself up to it. Good Luck
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6/18/2008 12:23 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
VickanS
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Sounds like there's a lot of pain there, Blue. I feel for ya. But I have been there before and I know it can be tough. Since we dont know the whole story, it is hard to offer any meaningful advice. No one here has to tell you that communication is key. A lot of times when someone cannot tell the other exactly what the problem is, it has to do with them not having the guts to speak their mind. Im not saying your wife did this, but leaving you without a clear reason is tough.

But like i mentioned, we dont know the whole story and that's okay. Just keep your head up and things will eventually get better
6/21/2008 08:36 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
TheRealDeal4Sho'
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My heart feels your pain, and although it's easier said then done - I hope you don't stay wounded to long.

Give her what she wants, the D.I.V.O.R.C.E, and try not to question or beat yourself up wondering where YOU went wrong.

There's probably issues going on with her that she WON'T reveal to you because she knows how much she loves you - and this sounds odd ... but she doesn't want to further hurt you so she thinks it's best the little you know, the better off you are.

Again, leave her to herself and PLEASE do not become bitter or generalize ALL women. Odd, because mostly women look for closure and never rest until they think they found out "what went wrong".

Occupy your time doing something productive and surround yourself with an encouraging support system.

.... and when it's done and over with - let it be ..... DON'T LET HER BACK IN, wish her well and tell her you'll see her IF you see her.
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We Still Have Ourselves To Deal With At The End Of The Day.
6/28/2008 01:24 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
blackman357
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Blue,

Man Let her go if it is meant to be she'll be back
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Without love there is nothing....
7/21/2008 18:50 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Forum Start > Relationships > Couples And Marriage > A Brotha in Search Of Clarity

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