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mayfieldga
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"Treined" to be Good Little Soldiers and Princesses
Ann Duckworth
mayfieldga@bellsouth.net

Trained to be Good little Soldiers and Princesses

My Learning Theory shows why Males are falling behind academically and also economically. It provides tools to help all students and adults continually improve thinking, learning, motivation to learn (mental reward received for mental work expended) and also mental/emotional health for students and adults. Theory will go to all on request.

1. I fear followers of the genetic models will try to build a case for genetic learning differences or body mass requiring more activity or tactile learning. Note that nice middle class Male students do not have this problem. High average stress from differential treatment is causing this activity. Also the view of differences in brain activity are more due to large differences in differential mental, emotional, social, physical, and educational reinforcement over time, not organic differences.

2. I also fear the use of Male classrooms with more discipline and more time on task will only lead to more stern and even more harsh treatment and more stereotyping of Males to perform more physical or menial labor to match the growing caste system being portrayed in the media against Males today. These attempts to focus on genetics, learning differences, male role models, or cater to more activity or instruction are destined to failure. The problem is sociological from day one. It is differential treatment Males experience that is creating this problem. Please read Learning Theory and other related articles on this subject.

Females are leaving the domestic role for information age skills and income. The nineteenth century belief Females should be protected has created much protection and support for Females from day one. Since Females are not required by society to be strong, it is considered proper to not only protect them but to also lavish much mental, emotional, social, academic, support, knowledge, and skills from day one. This creates lower average stress and lots of supported skills that enable girls to really do well in the information age. Girls are also given love, honor, respect, and support simply for being girls. This makes learning and development of skills and competing for jobs somewhat easier for they are given the essentials of self-worth simply for being girls. All of this makes girls "very well prepared" to compete in the information age. This support and protection continues even into adulthood. Today this allows not only much economic advantage but also maintains the same protected freedoms of expression to give verbal, silent abuse, and hollow kindness to Males when they have some advantage (look at how the media allows this).

Males and also Females (who tend to reflect for some reason their protected world upon Males) really do not understand how differential treatment from day one is providing Females with such an advantage that is creating the Growing international Male Crisis.

Males are given love, honor, support, respect, care, etc. only on the condition of sufficient achievement, money, power, etc. This is what makes Males very competitive; they are competing for feelings of self-worth as reflected upon them by society if they have sufficiency of those things. When they are doing anything they are being weighed and given only the amount of love, honor, respect, and support commensurate with those achievements. Those Males who do not have sufficiency are not only given less of those good things, they are given more aggression by society. This creates a lot more pressure on Males to either succeed in academics, which is good; and if they cannot, then they will search out a more protected and supported area in which they will have some feeling of love, honor, and respect from their peer group.

Since our society is still following even in the information age, the belief Males should be strong, it still allows much aggression upon Males to make them tough. It also holds that Males should not be given mental/emotional/social/academic support, love, kindness, and care for fear of coddling the Male. This is so the Male can become a good little soldier to defend family and country. The problem with this idea is that it creates high average stress that impedes learning and creates along it more tension that leads more activity in Males and far less attention to mental/emotional development. This is why girls appear to mature faster, for Males are not given the same mental/emotional/social supports. This higher average stress and lack of supports accumulate to create a large deficit in learning for Males.

Now in the information age, Males are competing with Females who have been well supported from day one and Males are beginning fall behind big time, especially from women in their 20's and early 30's.

Men are not only losing jobs, they are losing out on feelings of self-worth, namely love, honor, and respect from society. It is plainly spelled out in the media that when Males appear weak, it is okay to give them more verbal aggression, more abuse, and more neglect. Since Men have been brainwashed to believe they are better (perhaps deserving of more harsh treatment and neglect) they are now finding out that in real life such treatment is somehow helping women to succeed above them. Given the horrible myth of fixed intelligences taught in our society or simply working harder, many men are falsely believing they are less intelligent and/or not working hard enough. Given this false information, they may truly feel threatened by those women who are succeeding while they are not. Society itself and its media are now working against the Male to place Male's into perceived positions of being more suitable for menial labor and for Females to be placed into more white collar, management positions. The Male is now facing much more abuse on the job. Many low paid jobs are also riddled with much abuse, intimidation, and constant berating by managers over them. In more cases, women managers are the ones doing this. Yes, in society men who take jobs in lower more menial positions are given more abuse. It seems women working those jobs are somewhat more protected by society from this abuse. Many men are opting out of the workforce to protect their mental/emotional health, which they feel is more important to them than a paycheck.

Many men today are losing their feelings of self-worth that women receive simply for being women. In one case on Dr. Phil, a man’s wife could not understand his dilemma. because like many other women, she was reflecting her love, honor, respect, and protection in society upon him, not realizing his world was very different and much more unforgiving for signs of weakness. You see society's primary antidote for perceived weaknesses in a Male is to provide more aggression and neglect to make him strong, and not to support him when he is down. Therefore, although his wife supports him with love, society will take him down for being weak. After years of brainwashing, he and others like him believe it to be true and deserving of punishment. This is why so many Males have a short life and there are so many more Male suicides. Yes, Males do feel threatened for they feel the scales are tilted very much against them.
Complete learning theory to all on request by e-mail at mayfieldga@bellsouth.net
http://www.reuters.com/article/lifestyleMolt/idUSN0334472920070803


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2/6/2009 20:53 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
TT4kev189
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I agree and with most of your comments. I am concerned personally on the extremes of such changes of our social institutions. This can lead some men to consider suicide. It is ridiculous that we allow "extremist and lunatics" in our society to have such a effective influence over people, policies and media that cause one group of people to suffer for the sake of another.
2/8/2009 06:35 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
mayfieldga
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Not only suicide is a problem, but as Males begin to lose sufficient elements of self-worth - or sufficient love, honor, and respect from society in their lives, they will seek out more and more to reclaim those feelings of self-worth with less regard for rewards or consequences in ways that will be much more harmful to society.

In addition, as Males (all) begin to lose out this will begin to also create much psychological suffering along with less reflection time to the point of creating many harmful even fatal reactions to even minor situations. Males are just as courageous as anyone and will seek out to reclaim feelings of self-worth even to the point of death. This understanding is lacking in society today.
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mayfieldga
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I hope this extended version on Males will help everyone.

Why Males are Falling Behind Academically and Economically

Males are falling behind in greater numbers each year academically and economically. Our society is still using the nineteenth century belief Males should be strong and Females should be protected. This belief allows much aggression toward Males to make them tough. Any sign of weakness or displaying work that is considered more feminine is a negative in the eyes of society that will only react with more aggression toward such Males. Only Males who have been taught from a young age to not value those physical areas sufficiently and who are valued more so for so-called feminine qualities such as patience, understanding, ease of nature, kindness, mildness, and goodness will be able to also develop other information age skills society still feels is feminine such as mental, emotional, social, and academic skills. You see, all of those skills require more patience, ease of nature, and "low average stress along with proper pace and intensity in approaching those mental areas.”

The nineteenth century belief Males should be strong very adversely affects Males from an early age onward in three large areas.
The first area of concern: society's belief, Males should be strong allows much aggression toward Males (differences as early as nine months) “Psychology of Sex Differences”. From this aggression given them, Males are operating with much higher average stress that makes learning information age skills much more difficult. The increased aggression Males receive, creates four bad things for Males academically, mentally, emotionally, and socially: 1. It creates higher average layers of mental frictions (redefined from higher average stress) which inhibit thinking, learning, and motivation in mental areas. 2. These higher layers of mental frictions also create improper pace and intensity in approaching mental work (apply too much effort when approaching new material) and higher tension that hurts motivation to learn. 3. The aggression Males receive and less positive (nurturing) attention also create the higher average stress, which then creates the nervous energy or over activity. 4. This extra aggression Males receive creates the Male ego or defensive cushion that the Male develops from an early age to protect them from the aggressions they receive from society. This Male ego or defensive cushion has the negative consequences of further alienating the Male from “any” various mental, emotional, social, and academic supports they “might just” receive from society. When Males hear firm or hard words from others like teachers or others their minds are thinking defense and not thinking about learning and enjoying the learning process. The combination of high layers of mental frictions and defensive cushion are working to create an impediment to learning that accumulates in harm over time for men.

The Second area of concern: In society today, men are given love, honor, respect, and support or the essentials of their self-worth only on the “condition of sufficient” achievement, money, power, status or image. Again, this is all a part of the nineteenth century belief Males should be strong. This is what makes Males so competitive. Males are continually vying or competing for the essentials of feelings of self-worth from society. They must fight through the still present, nineteenth century confrontations allowed by society upon them from an early age to achieve those benefits and feelings of self-worth. Those Males who do not achieve in school or other like areas will not only not receive sufficient love, honor, and respect from teacher, parents, and others for this lacking, they may receive more neglect and even more aggression from those persons. Again, society allows this window of aggression upon Males to make them tough.

Males who can achieve in the classroom will do so. He will receive sufficient love, honor, respect, and support for academics and will continue to put forth more effort. When a Male Child is not showing a measure of achievement in school, he will tend to receive more neglect, abuse, and ridicule from parents and “teachers” than the Female child. This signals to the Male Child that he will not receive the essentials of self-worth in academics. He will then push himself in areas such as games, sports, and other pursuits to receive love, honor and respect (self-worth) from his peers. Over a period of years, this leaves Males far behind Females in mental, emotional, social, and academic knowledge and skills.

Third area of concern: In addition, Males are not given positive mental, emotional, social, and academic support, knowledge and skills (unless by accident). Society in its ignorance from the nineteenth century belief Males should be strong considers such attention and support as coddling the Male child. Society still holds that Males should pull themselves up by their own bootstraps. As a result, Males are not given the tools to develop many mental, emotional, social, and academic skills. This greatly cuts down on their motivation to develop those skills. The combined effect of society only rewarding strength and power to face aggression; neglect in many social and academic areas; not rewarding but acting with more aggression toward Males who attempt to develop mildness, kindness, goodness, and care for others are hurting many Males. Over a period of years, this is leaving many Males grossly unable to compete in the information age, which requires a slow accumulation of many complex mental, emotional, social, academic skills and talents.

This is creating the ever growing international Male Crisis that will only get worse for Males and then get much worse for Females when Males begin to take back with interest, their power and status. I feel society will continue maintaining this mistreatment of Males until a critical point is reached.

The truth is, little boys need just as much coddling as the girls and just as much mental, emotional, social, and academic support as the girls. While neglect of Male children and boys may have proved useful in the more physical nineteenth century, it is working opposite of need in the information age where it requires much more accumulated mental, emotional, social and academic skills acquired over time. In these areas, Males are being seriously shortchanged.

It is incorrect to view the Male Crisis on role models. The lack of role models is the result of the problem, not the cause. If you had a bag full of sand with a hole in the bottom, you would “not” say there is less sand in the bag; you would say there is a hole in the bottom of the bag. Indeed, we should fix the hole in the bag by providing Males with tools to develop long-term, mental/emotional stability so they can better compete mentally and emotionally in the information age. One professional was attempting to find more role models for Male children. He boasted that a Male child’s esteem goes up when they have one positive role model. What he was unknowingly saying was that Males have such little attention that when they do receive that attention, they are very grateful. This creates the large rise in esteem. The fight for attention could be creating misbehavior in Male children.

Today, many boys and men are becoming angry because they losing more than jobs and status, they are losing those things they are seeking most of all, love, honor, and respect, the essentials of self-worth. The little bites they receive in the media and workplace accumulate over time to create much anger that touches on and erodes their feelings of self-worth. As persons lose feelings of self-worth they also lose regard for the consequences of their actions. If men fall behind more collectively, they may begin to retaliate more collectively, thus ending the present shield of over-protection for women. This will mean much more abuse and crimes against women. It will do well for all parents, teachers, employers, and those in the media to be more kind to others, especially Males.

For women, due to the nineteenth century belief women should be protected and still in effect today, this has created much overprotection for many women. It is creating very low layers of mental frictions collectively for women. This makes thinking, learning, and motivation in mental areas much easier. Since girls are not required to be strong, this protection and continuous attention from day one also create a high speed expressway of continuous, mental, emotional, social and academic support, knowledge, and skills that accumulate in advancement in many areas over time (years). These two continual supports from society over time provide nearly everything a person needs today to succeed in the information age. Since women are given through overprotection (for some, even indulgence), the benefits of love, honor, respect, and continual support, all of the benefits of self-worth from an early age without qualification (simply for being girls), they are working with much more continual support and interaction to accumulate more continual mental, emotional, social, and academic knowledge and skills that can be transformed easily into money, power, status, and image. Even after this, society’s protection, care, and continued support along with its views of beauty and charm help women in the information age.

Women are now surging ahead academically and economically due to this overprotection and men are puzzled as to why they are falling behind. If you remove the old money from older men, the girls are making more. Now in the information age, Males are now competing with Females who have been well supported from day one and Males are beginning fall behind big time, especially from women in their 20's and early 30's. http://www.reuters.com/article/lifestyleMolt/idUSN0334472920070803

You see, society still believes in genetic differences so everyone remains blind the very real, differential treatment that is creating these differences. The current beliefs held by both men and women today is Males learn differently and/or men are simply lazy and do not try hard enough. These false beliefs only add to the growing Male Crisis. The men who believe this myth and who do not have information to the contrary may believe they are somehow mentally inferior or just not working hard enough. Somehow, humans, men included, tend to reflect the treatment they receive in their lives upon others and do not know or are not allowed by society to say how differential treatment is hurting them. This may lead Males to give up in developing various mental, emotional, social, and academic skills over time. They may limit their interest and desires to smaller windows of fulfillment within their social connections. They will continue to dress up for display, their Male defensive cushion to at least present a plausible image when dealing in areas where they are not as competent. Worse for these Males, they may advance their beliefs and feelings onto their sons, thus enabling the continuation of the harmful belief of inferiority in the information age.

As for women, they having been told the same teaching that persons are naturally better in some areas or simply work harder. They may truly feel they are simply more intelligent or have worked harder to achieve what they have achieved. In our world, again women like men often reflect their environment and treatment upon others and so do not appreciate large differences in treatment. In our world of insecurities, it is no wonder when women achieve, to boost their insecurity, as affects everyone, they will believe this achievement is due to more intelligence or greater effort on their part and not due to any environmental variables.

There is another growing phenomena, this involves the driving of Males from the work place. Part of the reason is there are fewer jobs left for Males in the industrial and other blue collar related areas and more job openings in more white collar areas. But even so, there are other reasons for this change in society. One reason is the nineteenth century belief Males should be strong has left many Males years behind in various mental, emotional, social, and academic areas of learning. This has created a large pool of Male employees who are not able to adapt to information age needs. Another reason is that as more Females enter positions of power and collective control, they are more apt to keep Female employees and lay off Male employees (there is no equal opportunity protection for Males). There is another more complex reason why Females are keeping their jobs and Males are losing their jobs. The nineteenth century belief Females should be protected works in the work place also. It places more constrictions on how jobs, intimidation, force for output, and general respect and care is given to Females. However, society’s allowed aggressions upon Male employees allows much more harsh treatment of Males in terms of verbal abuse, intimidation, job assignments, and lack of respect in general. This difference in treatment over time places the Male in a much more precarious position in deciding whether to continually put up with such mental/emotional abuse or quit or be fired for finally drawing a line at some point. Even when Females face similar treatment on the job, the over all treatment of respect and care usually support them so they are able to carry on and remain employed.

These reasons are now being played out in society. Business Week said that in the last six months, “From last November through this April, American women aged 20 and up gained nearly 300,000 jobs, according to the household survey of the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS). At the same time, American men lost nearly 700,000 jobs. You might even say American men are in recession, and American women are not.”

Men are not afraid of successful women. They are afraid of abuse toward them by society, including women who may perceive men to be weak in some way. The nineteenth century belief Males should be strong allows aggression toward Males who appear weak. Society provides love, honor, respect, support, etc. (the essentials for feelings of self-worth only on the condition of sufficient achievement, money, power, status, and image. Those Males who do not have sufficiency are given less love, honor, and respect. They are also given more aggression by society. This makes men very competitive for they feel they must achieve in order to have those things. Added the nineteenth century belief Males should be strong that allow much more aggression toward Males and also the denial from day one of mental, emotional, social support from day one (for fear of coddling the Male) and you have Males falling behind Females mentally, emotionally, socially, academically, and economically.

Women, due to the nineteenth century belief woman should be protected are given love, honor, and respect simply for being women. The nineteen century belief they should be protected also allows for much mental, emotional, social support, to only "appear to mature faster than Males". By differential treatment Females are surging ahead. In addition, that very overprotection by society also allows women to give verbal, silent abuse, and hollow kindness or patronization with impunity. The combination of allowed aggressions upon Males who appear weak in some way, lack of support for Males, more than adequate support for Females, and the protected freedoms of various allowed verbal and nonverbal abuse by women make a Male who appears weak in some way quite vulnerable to more abuse from successful women and more also from society.

By showing Males and Females how our environments greatly affect thinking and learning, students will have much more respect for themselves and for others. By providing students with tools to approach their lives differently to continually improve their abilities, students will then have a continuous hope of developing in time, many if not all of the qualities they admire in others. Students will then have a continuous hope of changing and becoming better, newer persons with each passing day.

We need to begin teaching Males and Females how our individual environments greatly affect our skills and abilities over time. We need to show Males and Females how differences in treatment do exist in the information age and have hurt Males over time. By providing this understanding, both Males and Females will begin to have much more appreciation for the other in terms of their differences in environment. Males will recognize how their environments are creating their difficulties and remove from their shoulders the false belief they are somehow genetically inferior or simply not working hard enough. Females will perhaps also recognize both how differential treatment has hurt the Male and speak with greater care and understanding rather than the current society allowed verbal, silent abuse, and patronization they presently give Males they feel they have an advantage over. By providing this understanding, the two groups will be able to exist in more harmony and maintain better relationships.

To reduce and eliminate this problem and help Males have a more equal footing, parents, teachers, administrators, and all forms of media need to be taught how to treat Males in society with as much respect and care as they presently provide Female students. This is the only way to help Males begin to catch up in all of the many social areas they are presently lagging. This new way of thinking will be very difficult for the Male parent, teacher, administrator, or other professional for they have been raised with the old, more aggressive ways for many years and have come to base their feelings of self-worth upon their money, power, status, and image.

Try to think of all the good things a child (and adult) has to have to compete in the information age. They need stability, love, mildness, ease of nature, support, kindness, low average stress, they need mental/emotional/social/academic support at all times, not because they have earned it, but just because they are human beings. This will lead boys and girls to develop and enjoy mental work such as academics and other information age skills that will accumulate in quality and continued enjoyment over time. This is where boys are hurt both academically and economically by not being given same good things girls receive without qualification. As you can see, girls are given this proper treatment simply because they are girls.

For many Males, it will require cognitive understanding of the problem and a willingness to begin treating Male children with the same respect and give the same positive attention to the Male children as they do Female children. For women, this means not using Male children as emotional scapegoats as society has allowed them to do in the past. In addition, women need to begin realizing that using adult Males as emotional scapegoats (with current feelings of protection by society) when they have power over them in some way is a very hazardous way to approach Males. You know, with continuous indulgence so directly related to mental, emotional, social, and academic knowledge and skills over time, society would practically have to treat Female and Male children the same in many areas to achieve equality between genders. I see Males and society losing in the end, but this end may be pushed off much farther into the future provided there is much more understanding and action in this area over time. This problem will only get worse unless action is taken now.

1. I fear followers of the genetic models will try to build a case for genetic learning differences or body mass requiring more activity or tactile learning. Note that nice middle class Males do not have this problem. Also the view of differences in brain activity are more due to large differences in differential mental, emotional, social, physical, and educational reinforcement over time, not organic differences.

2. I also fear the use of Male classrooms with more discipline and more time on task will only lead to more stern and even more harsh treatment and stereotyping of Males to perform more physical or menial labor to match the growing caste system being portrayed in the media against Males today.

We must learn to realize our current, single/multiple intelligence models were simply accepted out of hand years ago and held on to by many who were in control and apparently felt satisfied enough with their own life. Such ones could not see the tremendous disadvantage and damage such narrow, short-sighted beliefs would have on others, even among some persons who are closely related to them.

I tell those who would still cling to the myth of permanence in ability they are killing their students whereas my learning theory offers two large, cognitive tools to continually improve ability and hope for children and adults. They are free to choose the myth of permanence in ability or my theory that provides hope and improvement.

The Male Crisis is one application of my Learning Theory. My Learning Theory provides two large tools we can teach to students and adults to continually improve thinking, learning, motivation to learn, and most importantly, mental/emotional health for all students and adults. My complete Learning Theory and its Cognitive tools are free to all by e-mail – mayfieldga@bellsouth.net Feel free to make copies of all files.
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Forum Start > Relationships > Couples And Marriage > "Treined" to be Good Little Soldiers and Princesses

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