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Forum Start > Relationships > Couples And Marriage > If I do it all over again....
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atlhomeskillet
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Registered: 12/24/2009    Warnings: 0
If I do it all over again....
I got married because I was pressured by my wife and mother-in-law. My wife swears she didn't pressure me but asking me more than once a week if I am going to marry her along with her mother asking me constantly was pressure in my mind. I was a punk ass without backbone that could not follow my gut and say "No, I am not ready to marry you." I followed the dang script and proposed because she was pregnant and when she lost the baby, I didn't stand up and say "this wedding is off."

My gut feeling told me not to get married and I relayed this to my wife. She said I was just nervous.

Fast forward to 2009: My wife and I just barely get along. I have brought up moving out but she asked if I can wait until we catch up on bills (probably a year out). We do have a child together which I love very much and would not want to leave my wife in a tough financial situation (we do have some debt a little over 10k right now and drops about 1k a month after payments).

There are things about me that she cannot stand and there are things about her that I found out after marriage that just make me want to bounce at any moment. I don't get along with my mother-in-law (had a HUGE falling out with her a couple of years back). That just threw more gasoline into the 3-alarm fire.

I will tell anyone who is about to get married to think twice, then double-check that thinking and make sure you are really listening to your gut. Again, my gut was telling me DON'T GET MARRIED in a very loud way.

I will have to say I regret it almost daily and coming home is like pushing a boulder uphill and as you push it uphill, it gets bigger. Sometimes, I will stay at work a little late because of the dread of going home.

If I would have had the backbone and listened to my inner guidance, I would not be the miserable sack of sh*t that I am now. However, I have decided to get myself together. I believe we will ultimately get divorced. I am getting my mind. spirit and body strong just in case it is a nasty divorce.

If I do it again - get married, I will NOT let anyone pressure me. I will not put anyone's feelings about the situation before mine's. If I am uncomfortable and not ready, I am going to voice it and not move forward regardless of who gets hurt. It is more painful to go through with it with regrets than to take the temporary heartbreak and move on to someone you are really compatible with.

Signed: A fool who had to learn the hard way!


(Last edit:: 12/26/2009 08:01)
12/24/2009 19:25 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
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Forum Start > Relationships > Couples And Marriage > If I do it all over again....

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