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Forum Start > Relationships > Couples And Marriage > who's wrong yall? him or me?
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Nie36
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Posts: 2
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Registered: 3/20/2010    Warnings: 0
who's wrong yall? him or me?
I don't know if I'm breaking any rules by being a woman and posting in the message board here but I need some brothas to give me some honest feedback. I've been married for 13 years and the only sex partner I have ever had has been my husband. I am struggling with our sex life because....it doesn't exist. Not because I don't want it but because my husband told me that I've gained too much weight for sex and he doesn't want it anymore. He gives me no reason to believe that he's cheating, and otherwise our relationship is great!! Except we go months at a time without having sex. My issue with this is that, I admit, I have gained weight since we got married...but it's less weight than my husband has gained. I am still approached by men who don't know I'm married also, so it's not an "ugly girl" situation. My husband says that he told me early in our marriage that he didn't want me to gain too much weight and now that I've reached a level that he feels is unacceptable, he's withholding sex. We've had discussions about it in the past but I don't even bring it up anymore because I think it's ridiculous!! I get that men are "visual" but I feel I'm being treated unfairly. I have purposely not lost the weight because I feel like if sex is the carrot that he is dangling in my face to get me to lose weight, then he should've withheld something that he was good at. I do miss sex with him but not because he's such a skilled lover, but because I miss the connection that sex brings in marriage. Apparently, he doesn't. He feels that if I truly loved him then I would give him something that he wants to look at. I feel that if he truly loved me....then he would love me!!So....tell me, am I wrong for being upset? Should I lose the weight and take whatever benefits come with it in my marriage or not? Be real with me brothas!!!
3/20/2010 20:49 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
ecjr23
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Registered: 4/13/2006      Warnings: 0
Me, personally, I would never do that to a woman. I feel that we all will and do gain a little weight over time, due to aging. I feel your husband and you should sit down with your minister or a relationship counselor and get to the real cause for his withholding of sex from you. If he is still insistant on it being your weight let him know that he needs to drop some pounds too. Maybe the both of you could work on this together as a couple.
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ECJR23

If I could have convinced more slaves that they were slaves, I could have freed thousands more. - Harriet Tubman
3/26/2010 11:58 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Forum Start > Relationships > Couples And Marriage > who's wrong yall? him or me?

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