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Jack
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How would a woman prefer to be approached?
I'm just curious about todays sista's. You strong, independent , career orientated ones. How would you like a man to approach you? And what would work in his favor? Tell us please.
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3/24/2006 12:24 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Sapphire
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"How would a woman prefer to be approached?"

With intelligence and respect. A woman appreciates a man who will present himself as a man, and a gentleman.

Approaching a woman with a nice smile, a simple hello, I'm Joe Blow, with an extended hand goes a long way. The Hey baby you so is fine, and all the other "jive" talk is not something a quality woman wants to hear.

And, please do not flash your money, speak loudly about your car, home or anything else of material means when you first meet a lady.

That tactic is not impressive and in fact makes a man appear to be a flash in the pan type of guy. Today's black woman is educated, has a great career, dresses well, ownes her own home or condo, drives a nice car, can take herself to the most expensive restaurants, is well read and well traveled.

There is nothing more charming that a man just being a man. It is not always about the way you look, or your hue, although you must be groomed and smell nice. A woman wants a man with whom she feels compliments her. The bottom line is that a woman wants a man who makes her feel safe, secure, and cared for.

Hope this helps!


3/25/2006 20:01 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Sarina22
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Ummm..... I hate to be a copycat, but EXACTLY what Sapphire said!
3/27/2006 11:39 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
ecjr23
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Then why do some women turn there attention from a brother like that, then be all up in the face of the brother that everyone knows is involved in some illegal activities??
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ECJR23

If I could have convinced more slaves that they were slaves, I could have freed thousands more. - Harriet Tubman
4/29/2006 17:43 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Sparkle
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ecjr23 wrote:
Then why do some women turn there attention from a brother like that, then be all up in the face of the brother that everyone knows is involved in some illegal activities??



Because women like men can be swayed, seduced and eventually played by the danger, power and money surrounding a 'Bad Boy'. If you were to ask a white women what she wanted most from a relationship she would probably say love and companionship (broad genearlization here) if you were to ask a black women what she wanted from a relationship the first thing out her mouth would most likely be Security and Honesty. For many of us the idea of security goes hand and hand with financial wealth and management and for those of us that are unwise it does not matter how that wealth is accumulated. We need to look outside the box and realize that a persons character is worth more than any bank note. Most of us do.
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6/18/2006 16:03 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
ecjr23
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Like the saying goes "Money can't buy you love."
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ECJR23

If I could have convinced more slaves that they were slaves, I could have freed thousands more. - Harriet Tubman
6/20/2006 02:21 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
realme
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I'd love to add something to this. I've been a Christian for nine years in an international church and know many wonderful sisters from all over the planet (Congo, Nepal, Australia, S.Africa, India etc). Although I have't spoken to all of them I've spent time with quite a few and the list of what they REALLY want is fairly short:

A man who loves God more than he loves them (yes, really, and if you are a Christian you will understand why)

A man who thinks of her needs above his own and encourages her to be the best she can possibly be (and she wants to do that for him).

Someone to listen.

Someone who will change where necesssary, and challenge her to do the same.

Someone who does all the above in love

Does the above guy sound perfect? Well, he doesn't exist but the women in my church are willing to work with what is in a man if he shows a desire to develop and work on the above.

Sisters, I know you to be wise enough to admit you can be seduced by flash and glitter. But when it comes down to it surely you want a man who is true to you and loves you for you?

realme
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6/24/2006 07:10 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
ecjr23
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A woman like that deserves a good man that will cherish her that way. There are a lot of brothers out in the world that are willing to make the effort, just have to be given the oppertunity.
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ECJR23

If I could have convinced more slaves that they were slaves, I could have freed thousands more. - Harriet Tubman
6/24/2006 07:50 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
rodrice
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Im a young single black man and find that many sistas really dont know what they want. By that I mean they say they want a man with money and all that, but who doesnt. money should not be the first thing that comes out of your mouth. I see lots of brothas dating white women and other races, but that isnt for me. I just want a sista that loves GOD, knows who she is and willing to accept me, who is willing to learn, and has goals that she is trying to reach.
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6/24/2006 22:45 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
ecjr23
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But it's funny...when a woman gets dogged out by a guy that has all that money, big house, and fancy cars. It's the brother that actually has a heart that gets dogged by her.
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ECJR23

If I could have convinced more slaves that they were slaves, I could have freed thousands more. - Harriet Tubman
7/8/2006 06:10 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
charity2k4
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I think a woman wants to be approached by someone who is able to convey genuine interest and sincerity in a down-to earth manner.

I see men complaining that woman our 'goldiggers' yet they outwardly flaunt material attributes in order to get a date, like that signals they are a 'quality male ' and worthy of attention.
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7/29/2006 09:38 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Sarina22
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I don't think enough of us sistas get approached by decent men. Even if he's a decent man, can he represent himself in such a way?

I've seen many men who are genuinely good people, but you'd never know it when they opened their mouths. They want to hang out with their boys every day or two; want to drink and act immature.

A woman seeing that can't tell what type of future she's in for.
8/1/2006 09:47 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
ecjr23
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But when a good brotha tries to approach a strong black sista, she gives nothing but attitude. Because she has been dooged by some jerk in the past, she has this stereo type of all men. That is not fair to the next man that really means well.
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ECJR23

If I could have convinced more slaves that they were slaves, I could have freed thousands more. - Harriet Tubman
8/1/2006 21:29 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
charity2k4
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Well would you really want someone with a bad attitude, personally i would think lucky escape LOL...and keep it moving...

I've met some great guys, but they still carrying 'baggage' from the past, so they really aint ready for no-one if they are doing that...so ecir23 men are guilty of that too
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If you dont take all your opportunities someone else will
8/2/2006 22:53 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
VickanS
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I think it depends on the attitude of the black woman. I know some who have dealt with some bad brothas, but they still keep their heads up and don't use past negativity to affect how they deal with future men.
8/3/2006 16:50 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
Nique
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but...going back to the original question. Sapphire hit the nail right on the head. With intelligence and respect. The question was about approach. Most of the other things come after the approach. But to 1st walk up to a woman of any race, religion, culture, past relationships, etc...a simple hello will do.

Yeah, some women will turn up their noses, but then that's your sign that you don't want her. Especially if your hello was sincere and there nothing behind it like flashing money or the things that Sapphire stated.

I'm a 49 years young black woman and that has always worked for me. You know..."he had me at hello".
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8/17/2006 09:38 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
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