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Forum Start > Relationships > Couples And Marriage > "Marriage is for White People"
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Registered: 2/7/2006    Warnings: 0
"Marriage is for White People"

You won't believe this story.

grew up in a time when two-parent families were still the norm, in both black and white America. Then, as an adult, I saw divorce become more commonplace, then almost a rite of passage. Today it would appear that many -- particularly in the black community -- have dispensed with marriage altogether.

But as a black woman, I have witnessed the outrage of girlfriends when the ex failed to show up for his weekend with the kids, and I've seen the disappointment of children who missed having a dad around. Having enjoyed a close relationship with my own father, I made a conscious decision that I wanted a husband, not a live-in boyfriend and not a "baby's daddy," when it came my time to mate and marry.

My time never came.

For years, I wondered why not. And then some 12-year-olds enlightened me.

"Marriage is for white people."

That's what one of my students told me some years back when I taught a career exploration class for sixth-graders at an elementary school in Southeast Washington. I was pleasantly surprised when the boys in the class stated that being a good father was a very important goal to them, more meaningful than making money or having a fancy title.

"That's wonderful!" I told my class. "I think I'll invite some couples in to talk about being married and rearing children."

"Oh, no," objected one student. "We're not interested in the part about marriage. Only about how to be good fathers."

And that's when the other boy chimed in, speaking as if the words left a nasty taste in his mouth: "Marriage is for white people."

There's more to the story but it's evident that we are failing our kids in a huge way.
Wherever you go...there you are.
3/31/2006 16:39 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
QuickView: "Marriage is for White People" - hmurchison 3/31/2006 16:39
 Book will answers some concerns. - trek 4/1/2006 15:23
 I would have liked it if the teacher was able to delve a bit... - hmurchison 4/1/2006 20:08
 Interesting. But the stats don't lie and neither do our eye... - VickanS 4/3/2006 18:56
 Wait til them young cats get a whiff of what it's like to pa... - hmurchison 4/3/2006 19:41
 Marriage is for any couple willing to work together and stay... - willie6 4/6/2006 17:52
 Wait til them young cats get a whiff of what it's like to pa... - tha_grouch 4/23/2008 19:00
 That's ashame but, children tend to imitate adults. We don'... - doneit 8/16/2009 03:51
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