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Forum Start > Relationships > Couples And Marriage > Need some solid advice
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Posts: 130
Registered: 4/13/2006    Warnings: 0
Need some solid advice
I am in love with a woman that has been a major part of my life for the last 6yrs. Five of those years we were engaged to be married and living together. I never cheated on her; but she felt that at one point I did. The problem is whenever I have contact with a female that she do not know, the has to be something going on. But when she has contact with another man, it's all innocent. We seperated when she allowed another man to call our home; at first she lied about it, then she told me the truth on how they met. She said that she just talked to him to get a man's opinion on issues that she felt we were having. I told her that this guy really do not care about what is going on between us, he knows that by him calling our home is going to cause friction between us. And that he only wants to drive a wedge beteen us, so that he canuse her. Well, that all came true. When I got tired of the constant arguing about this guy, I moved out to clear my head. They ended up getting a place together; this is when she realized that he was using her to support him. We tried to get our relationship back on track and then she decided to move to Vegas last year around this time. We kept in touch all last year; at on point she asked me about getting back together and finally getting married. I was all for it, until one day last November she tells me that she is engaged to an African guy, that she has been friends with for the 2yrs or so. I told her that if that is what she wants to do I hope that things works out for her. But also I do not want her to contact me ever again. Well, a couple of weeks ago she calls me to tell me that she is still very much in love with me; she knows that I am the only man that ever showed her true love; she felt pressured into getting married to this African guy; and she really do not want to remain married to him. I have told her that she needs to end the marriage, especially if there is no love for him. But she told me that she doesn't want to hurt his feelings or his family's either. She also said that she wants to give him a chance. I'll admit I am not a perfect man; but I have never disrespected her in any way. We have been through the miscarriage of our twins back in '99, I have gave her $500 to help her out of a financial bind while she was with the first guy. We laughed together, cried together. She still shows how concerned she is regarding my mom's recovery from a severe stroke last summer. I need good advice on how to proceed with this. What should I do?

If I could have convinced more slaves that they were slaves, I could have freed thousands more. - Harriet Tubman
4/13/2006 03:53 Link - Ip: Logged - Quote:
QuickView: Need some solid advice - ecjr23 4/13/2006 03:53
 First off let me state that I think it's wonderful that you'... - hmurchison 4/13/2006 07:57
 The first mistake was both of you having friends neither kne... - Aroob 4/13/2006 08:20
 Well, I think the most important part of what you said ecjr2... - VickanS 4/13/2006 08:40
 Of course this is in the past, but one of the biggest mistak... - Jack 4/13/2006 10:40
 Thank you all that are responding to this, it really helps m... - ecjr23 4/18/2006 01:53
 Ok, my ex- came home to visit her family this week and came ... - ecjr23 6/20/2006 23:24
 Well, it looks like I lost out on a possible happy life with... - ecjr23 7/8/2006 06:19
 Well, since my last post on this subject, I thought that the... - ecjr23 2/3/2007 14:20
 You have put your time, efforts, and a part of your life int... - Intrepid_One 3/20/2007 14:22
 Wow! I so hope you NEVER speak with this female again. I'm... - TheRealDeal4Sho' 1/19/2008 21:56
 ecjr, Man I can't believe she pulled that line about she ne... - blackman357 7/21/2008 18:55
 It's been a while since I've read or posted any messages on ... - ecjr23 3/26/2010 09:43
 It's been a while since I've read or posted any messages on ... - Giftedbrother 4/5/2010 13:06
 It's been a while since I posted this, but I finally got her... - ecjr23 8/17/2010 11:32
 I was in a relationship with a married man for nine years. W... - precious000 9/10/2010 10:31
 Why do people (men or women) stoop to the self hating act of... - Alvena 11/6/2010 20:11
Forum Start > Relationships > Couples And Marriage > Need some solid advice

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