We've all heard the saying -- "Don't hate the player, hate the game."

What has become increasingly sad is the fact that too many people follow this senseless cliché, and the results have created a society of men and women who are seemingly numb to the destruction they cause.

Young people who subject themselves to the uncertain and often unstable world of dating, would be better served by making a concerted effort to recognize the participants, or "players" . For without them, the game would never exist.

If we think about it in sporting terms (since we're on the subject of games), most games are governed by a set of rules that help shape and define the contest. Part of that rule system calls for specific pieces of equipment to be used that increases a game-players' chances of success.

These sporting references are paralleled in social dating and in short-term relationships. The only difference is -- no money changes hands; the consequences for losing are more detrimental; and the equipment being used was never designed for playing games.

Black men have been notoriously guilty of harboring the "love them, leave them" attitude, by attaching themselves to women they have no intention of growing a relationship with. Add to this the fact that many men have mastered the verbal portion of the game, and it's clear why so many women are confused when men disappear after a few months of dating. Most players dedicate little quality time to one woman, and the game ends only when she discovers it, or when the player gets bored and decides to move on.

As our sporting analogy predicts, there will always be a loser at the end of the contest. Unfortunately, it is usually our sistas who end up sitting on the bench with tears streaming down their faces. They never really had a chance of winning the game since they didn't know they were a part of one.

But unlike games being played between the professional lines, winners don't exist in relationship games. Men often may walk away leaving a trail of broken hearts and unwed mothers. A man's fascination with the game is built on getting away with the goods, but never having to actually pay a price. So he never actually wins, but rather causes heartache for an unspecified length of time.

It may be of no consolation to those women who feel that they've been victimized by the game-players, but the relationship Gods work in full circles. Those who play the game eventually become victims themselves.

For the record, games don't just jump up and grab hold of the people in its vicinity. It's not an airborne bacteria seeking to infest and destroy the innocent. Games take shape when people breath life into them.

Without carriers or "players", the game would cease to exist.