One of the toughest criticisms levied against the emergence of independent, self-sufficient women - is the noticeable change that has taken place with regard to relationship roles and the blending of responsibilities. At one time in our history, well-defined positions were more evident in relationships and Black men understood which components were needed to support a wife and family. Even though some of our less desirable men never adhered to these unspoken rules -- the social, economical, and emotional roles in relationships were always known.

The significance of role playing is pivotal in shaping the foundation of relationships and also effects day-to-day living. Relationship roles are mostly based on expectations and learned social patterns that tell us how we should be behave. More importantly for men, these learned patterns are built on the needs, desires, and expectations of women.

Over the past two decades, those patterns have become more disrupted as certain needs have taken precedence over others. The result has been a puzzling shift in responsibility.

When we observe sporting activities, it is often noted that the most successful teams are those possessing some type of order or hierarchy. A coach may direct the team, but defined role-players fill voids and serve specific needs. If a player is assigned a role that is not designated for scoring, his efforts to acquire that position (or play outside of his defined role) may be viewed with hostility and could negatively impact the team.

Even though relationship roles are never truly spelled out, the duties assigned to men and women in partnerships are based on 3 criteria: 1) historical observations outlining the emotional and physical needs of both men and women; 2) the ideal social environment for raising children; 3) and general relationship circumstances based on expectations.

It's no secret that women still desire men of character, confidence, and courage. Most women also follow traditional desires and want men who are capable of being great leaders and providers. Men typically look for women who are compassionate and possess maternal instincts. These qualities act as a precursor to being a good mother and caretaker.