The Search Is OverBy Mybrotha.COM Relationship Editor
The "greener grass" mentality can surface at any point during a relationship. For some people, the search for something better begins as soon as they make a commitment. For others, the shift in thinking doesn't occur until years later after they've been married for a while.
Even more of an oddity, is the fact that people in "bad" relationships, seem to stay in them -- feeding off of the negative energy. The psychological reasons behind this are complicated, but the reasons why people look for something better when they already have something good -- are not.
The Insatiable Appetite
Complacency is stagnation that occurs in many relationships. Couples sometimes begin blaming each other for the slow down and lack of excitement. A strong will to survive can propel a couple past this, but controlling a roaming heart is a much bigger problem.
The "greener grass" theory is based on the idea that something better always exists. While this may be true in sports, technology, and stock trades - the same can't be said for relationships. Finding others who are sexier, nicer, or richer is extremely easy, but good relationships are not built on those things -- or at least they shouldn't be.
A stable bond requires a unique form of sacrifice and commitment that cannot be faked. This uniqueness begins taking shape once a secure commitment is made between a couple.
Couples place their own certified stamp on a relationship, defining and branding it as they continue to build it over time. The amount of time and energy expended on a relationship can never be recovered, and there is no need to try fixing things that aren't broken.
Many couples who have been together for any length of time, have yet to truly discover what makes their partner unique. Some eventually figure out that if they spend time building up the good stuff in their relationships, the bad stuff won't have room to survive.
For what it's worth, most who venture into greener pastures are no happier with their new relationships. Many venturers later come to the realization -- "If something better always exists, when do I stop looking?"
The Search Is Over
