Online Magazine For Black Men
How To Tell When She's Lying


Let the truth be known that all humans lie.

Being dishonest is a sad reality of human nature, and determining when or if someone is lying is not always easy. Some folks have become masters at disguising the truth, and that usually spells trouble for the person(s) being lied to. For men, being labeled "dawgs," cheats, and liars is a long-standing criticism in America. But what happens when girlfriends and wives lie? Can you tell if she's being totally honest with you?

To determine whether or not your mate is lying, you could easily deploy common detection techniques like: observing a change in body language, nervousness in her voice, or simply knowing the truth before asking her questions. You could also use some of the most proven, powerful detection techniques that will protect you and teach you how to get the truth--every time.

Honesty and trust--along with communication--are the most important factors in a successful relationship. Unfortunately, we live in an imperfect world where deception is inevitable and relationships can be rough. Whether you are married, have a girlfriend or, "just a friend", men should make a concerted effort to listen carefully when a suspect mate is speaking. Listen to each word, hear her tone, and observe her body language so that you can detect signs of deceit. We (men) often miss the true intent of well-chosen words because we're too busy thinking about an effective comeback accusation.

Here are 3 important tips you should remember when attempting to determine if you're getting the truth, or a lie:

  • Listening Carefully - If you ask your mate where she was yesterday evening, be sure to take note of her response time and how often she responds. A guilty party tends to add more substance to an already contrived story. This often happens because guilty persons are uncomfortable with silence and will often dream up more juicy tidbits until you respond.
  • Play Your Part - When you ask the tough questions, don't continue to talk over your mate, or berate her. Give her time to spell it out. Even after she's provided a brief response, wait to see if she adds more fuel to the fire. A man who listens carefully and quietly (without loud-talking or interrupting) can create panic for someone who's hiding the truth.
  • Observe - When you ask your mate a question, be concerned if she discounts or demeans the question. For example, if you ask, "Did you kick it with Chris after the party last Friday?" You should especially worried if she gives an answer like, ("No... of course not. You know I think cheating is wrong.") Or, ("How could you ask me something like that? Doing that would be beneath me and I'm not like that.") To a lying sista, offering proof of her innocence by criticizing the question is a common deception tactic.
But what if you're not asking questions and you're simply in the midst of casual conversation?

In the popular New York Times bestseller, Never Be Lied To Again: How to Get the Truth In 5 Minutes Or Less In Any Conversation Or Situation, Dr. David J. Lieberman says, "When someone starts a phrase with, "To be perfectly honest", "To be frank", or "To tell you the truth", watch out! Someone who is telling the truth doesn't need to convince you before she gets her words out."

Such an expression means literally that everything that came before is a lie, everything that comes after will be a lie, but for now, she's decided to pause momentarily to tell you the truth. "If a woman is going to tell you the truth, it's unlikely that she would start off by saying just that. If she feels the need to tell you that she's being honest and that you're about to receive the whole truth, you can be pretty sure you're not getting it," Liebermann says.

A final bit of advice. If a woman professes, "I never lie" or "I cannot tell a lie", be very cautious of her. Lieberman further states, "Anyone who needs to declare her virtuous nature does so because there is no other way for you to find out. Some people will say just about anything to sound believable, and even lie straight to your face. One's honor should speak for itself."

Sadly for men, women are typically a lot better at hiding the truth than we are. To better protect yourself, listen to each and every word she says. If you question her, notice her body language and how often she repeats declarations of innocence. If she tells you that she is the most honest person you will ever meet, don't walk away -- run.

About The Author - Mybrotha.COM Staff Writer

©Copyright 2002-2014 - Mybrotha.COM. This article was written and edited by a Mybrotha.COM staff writer. Articles may not be reproduced, rewritten, or retransmitted without the express written consent of Mybrotha.COM
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