Life is hard. And, it's even harder when you're trying to love and be loved by another human being. And, as much as we try to protect ourselves, the pursuit of love eventually teaches us all a few lessons. Listed here are 13 hard truths about relationships that most of us eventually realize with age and lots of experience:
1. People are enigmas. The person you thought would never hurt you and would always support you, will sometimes say and do things to disappoint you. It's called life, and you have to adjust and move on.
2. Social media philandering has taken the place of workplace infidelity. We used to worry about coworkers getting too cozy with our significant other. Now, there are dozens of potential cyber affairs being hosted by social media sites like Facebook, Twitter and others. Social media doesn't make people cheat; it just makes it easier to cheat.
3. Your partner probably won't show you who they really are until they're forced to. People often hide who they are during the preliminary stages of dating to avoid rejection and personal judgment. You will likely notice a few unwelcome personality changes over time because no one can disguise their true persona indefinitely.
4. If you cheat on someone, don't expect them to be the bigger, more mature person and simply walk away with a broken heart. Some people won't wait for karma; instead, they will take action and find a way to repay you. The scary thing is, you have no idea what punishment they might have in store for you, and the punishment hardly ever fits the crime.
5. Not everyone wants what you have to offer. As amazing as you may be to one person, you won't be to another. Be open and honest about who you are, and pay more attention to those who accept you for who you are. No man or woman has ever made everyone happy.
6. It's been said time and time again, and it demands repeating: someone who truly wants to be in a relationship will put forth the time and effort to do the things necessary to support relationship growth.
7. There are some intrinsic differences between men and women that we just don't like about each other. You can't change those things, and you shouldn't try to. It's probably best to celebrate our differences and enjoy the things that attract us to each other.
8. Some people want what you have and they will go after it. They lack the civility and integrity that would otherwise prevent them from destroying something that isn't theirs. This includes friends and family.
9. Relationships take work, but they shouldn't be difficult. If and when things become difficult, you're either not working hard enough to resolve the issues, or you're with the wrong person.
10. If you're being stalked, it has nothing to do with how great you are. Rather, it's the current reflection of the psychological makeup of the stalker. If you believe you are in danger, don't hesitate to seek security and legal help.
11. A good-looking man with money, ambition and power is desired ten times more than a good-looking man with considerably less. A gorgeous woman with money, ambition and power is desired the same as a gorgeous woman with considerably less.
12. While it's almost never done, discussing your expectations sooner rather than later is often better for relationship success. Early discussion allows us to filter out potential bad connections and avoid wasting precious time. Detachment is much easier when a strong emotional connnection hasn't been established.
13. Chances are -- you won't marry your best friend. You are more likely to find someone you're attracted to and with whom you share commonalities. Over time (hopefully during a committed relationship) you will learn more about them and become better friends. The problem many people have is expecting a new relationship to feel like a long-time friendship.