Relationships » Online Dating

The Quick Guide To Online Dating

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Online Dating

(Mybrotha.COM) - With online dating participation reaching into the millions, online dating is no longer considered a seedy medium where creepy men lurk and spiteful women seek revenge. Dating sites have become the new social haven for young singles who are actively searching of a life-long partner.

No online dating site will ever guarantee complete protection from the narrow-minded, lustful, or totally ludicrous. What they can guarantee, however, is a large database full of potential love interests--most of whom surf the online dating world for the exact same reasons--to get their dating game on!

For those of you new to online dating and dating websites, be not afraid. You should approach online dating like you would any other date. Err on the side of caution and when all else fells, use the ever popular line, "It's not you, it's me!"

The only true difference in online dating and traditional dating, is how much access you have to different persons and what you do (or intend to do) with that access.

Think about it: How long would it take you to meet three women in one day and have them all email you, seeking more information about you? Unless you're a ridiculously good-looking young lad, the chances of that happening aren't that high. Besides, it's rather difficult to entertain three ladies at the same time....that is, of course, unless they want it that way!

But through the various online dating sites, you can meet a number of persons at your convenience. Not only that, but you're totally in control of who you respond to, how often you respond to them, and when/if you will ever meet in person.

Whoa! Did I say, "in person"?

Well, you may eventually want to meet and greet that cute face with the sexy voice, right? When that time comes, you both will hopefully communicate about the venue and whether or not you're having chicken or fish for dinner.

The moral of this story is, online dating is a good thing. It's straightforward, informative, and convenient. Straightforward because you can take your time, scribbling out your profile and putting your best foot forward. It's informative because you can read everything about a prospective mate which includes everything from hobbies and favorite foods, to career choices and what they seek in a mate.

Convenience? Sure it's convenient. Where else could you meet three women from different cities and different backgrounds, all within a few hours?

So here's a list of things you should and should not do when perusing online dating sites:


Be Yourself

There is nothing worse than misrepresentation during an online encounter. A young lady in St. Louis (We will call her, "Tracy") recently ventured into the online dating arena and discovered that it was full of exciting prospects. Even though she'd never intended on dating someone outside of a 20-mile radius, Tracy met a fella (We will call him, "Jim") who lived outside of the area.

Jim's profile listed him as a 6',1" - 187lb, 30-year old black male, who is gainfully employed as a chemical engineer at a well-known manufacturer. His profile further stated that he was athletic, participates in sporting events, and loves to dress neatly. After a few emails and a number of IM conversations, Tracy began to believe that she'd found a truly awesome brotha. Not only was he her type, but their online conversations were awesome.

Being a bit daring, Tracy decided to approach Jim about speaking via telephone. When Jim agreed, the magic continued. The two talked for 3 hours the first night, and 4 hours the next night.

This process continued for about a month, when Jim inquired about an actual date with Tracy. Being new to the online thing, Tracy was a little apprehensive, but had built a genuine trust in Jim.

Jim and Tracy made plans to meet at a downtown restaurant and both were excited about the prospects of their new-found friendship.

When Tracy entered the restaurant, she noticed a man sitting in the area where she told Jim to look for her. The man was balding, appeared to be in his late 30's, stood about 5',8" tall, and wore the oddest color combination she'd ever seen.

Praying to God that this was not her date, Tracy sat at a table and waited for her true Prince Charming to show up. She really didn't have to wait long because Jim was already there - sitting at the table where Tracy hoped he wouldn't be.

Of course, Jim immediately recognized the young lady sitting at the table a few feet from him since Tracy described herself perfectly to him.

After Jim approached Tracy and introduced himself, the befuddled young lady promptly got up and left.


Misrepresent Yourself

One of the biggest complaints from online daters, is finding out that they have been coerced into believing something that is not true. Online daters have learned to be skeptical of "too good to be true" information they receive over the web.

Psychologists say most people who lie about their appearance (i.e. height, weight) do so to create a better image of themselves. Once their foot is in the door, they feel that they have passed the first test--even if it meant telling a lie.

Online dating sites warn: Never provide your real name in online profiles, or in your emails, until you feel totally comfortable with the person you're conversing with. You should also be extremely honest about your physical appearance, your habits, your hobbies, likes/dislikes, etc. These things may seem trivial now, but will later surface as resentment towards you.

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