Relationships » Defining 'Dating' vs. 'In A Relationship'

Defining 'Dating' vs. 'In A Relationship'

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(Mybrotha.COM) -- Recently, one of my friends called me, and was pretty upset because a guy whom she thought she was "in a relationship" with for close to a year, stated that they were "just dating."

My friend's reasons for believing that she was in a relationship with this guy were the following: They had discussed having a future together, and made plans. They often spent nights at each others apartments. They had sex on a regular basis. Some of her things were kept at his place. He had his own toothbrush in the medicine cabinet at her house. They were very affectionate with one another in public. They had gone apartment hunting together, and they had met each others friends and family. Not only that, but they both agreed on not seeing other people.

After listening to my friend state her case, I felt that she was in fact in a relationship, and not just dating this man.

When I think of the term dating, I imagine it as two people who are spending time with more than just one person.

Also, I view dating as two people who don't talk about having a future together. And it's because they are in fact, just dating, nothing serious, just having fun.

But in my friend's case, her behavior and the man's behavior, clearly illustrates the meaning of two people who are in a relationship.

I feel this man just wants to reap the benefits of being in a relationship: sex on a regular basis, companionship, etc. However, he does not want the responsibility that comes with maintaining one: compromising, accountability, and more.

So I say to all of the men who are guilty of displaying such behavior, just say upfront that you are not looking for a relationship, and when you say those words, let your actions reflect what you say as well, because in the end, giving women mixed signals can lead to confusion and heartache.

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About the Author: Nyki Edwinna is an author and writer who creates poetry, erotica, short stories, articles and inspirational quotes. She is the founder/CEO of Words From A New York Writer, LLC., a communications company that creates content for blogging, products and books. To learn more about her, visit

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